Yet, lo and behold! Over the past few cycles-like a tragicomedy unfolding in slow motion-this trend has taken a most dramatic turn. The memecoin market cap has plummeted by nearly $10 billion in the last 30 days alone, mirroring the total crypto market’s loss of a staggering $330 billion. A fate befitting a well-scripted farce!
On a Saturday, when the world should be at rest, the bitcoin, that restless spirit, did falter. Trump, the eternal showman, proclaimed via Truth Social-a platform of truths as fleeting as a shadow-that the court’s decision was “anti-American,” a phrase as weighty as a feather in a hurricane. And so, with a flourish, he raised the tariff to 15%, as if the world were but a game of dice in his hands.
Tether, the kingmakers of USD₮, just dropped the mic on its offshore yuan stablecoin, CNH₮. Turns out, even crypto gods get bored of their side projects. An internal review (read: someone finally checked the numbers) concluded the token wasn’t worth the effort of keeping it alive.
Breaking Bitcoin’s cryptography, it insists, would require a quantum computer so powerful it could make a mathematician weep, and even then, it would have to be error-free-a feat as likely as a poet writing a sonnet without a rhyme. Such machines, it notes, are as sophisticated as a toaster with a PhD in theoretical physics.
In the grand theater of blockchain mischief, one Specter-an on-chain analyst, no less-performed the role of harbinger, alerting us that the nefarious hacker had relieved the unsuspecting IoTeX of $4.3 million worth of tokens. Among the illustrious cast, USDC, USDT, IOTX, PAYG, WBTC, and BUSD took center stage, only to be whisked away to the realm of Ethereum, leaving behind mere whispers of their former glory.
WLFI has inked a strategic partnership with Securitize and DAR Global to launch institutional-grade real-world asset offerings. The opening act is the Trump International Hotel & Resort, Maldives-a direct, if flamboyant, bridge between blockchain infrastructure and a branded property.
So, the stablecoin economy added some bling this week, but it’s still nursing a 30-day hangover. Artemis Terminal says adjusted transaction volume hit $7.5 trillion. That’s 1.8 billion transactions, folks-enough to make your head spin like a slot machine! As February waves goodbye, the dollar-pegged economy sits pretty at $307.87 billion, according to defillama.com.
Edwards, our modern-day Cassandra, proclaims that this Quantum menace could slash Bitcoin’s fair value by a staggering 60% by 2028. “Trust the code” and “hard money,” he laments, would be naught but ashes in the wind should this quantum apocalypse come to pass. Up to 30% of Bitcoin’s supply, he warns, might be stolen and liquidated. Oh, the humanity!
In an era where old customs and tax codes seem as outdated as last year’s fashion, Argentina is reshaping its regulatory landscape, allowing those elusive undeclared funds to waltz back into the financial fold through the enticing arms of cryptocurrency and beyond.
Mark your calendars, for here lies a tale of ambition and its expiration date.