qfx Let’s break it down, shall we? Founders Vova Sadkov and Mark X-sounds like a bad spy duo-previously abandoned their Eesee project faster than I ditch a bad first date. Simon Dedic, the angel investor with a nose for BS, warned everyone to sell $LAB. But did anyone listen? Of course not. Retail investors are like moths to a flame.
The bill, a 309-page behemoth released just after midnight on Tuesday (because who needs sleep when you’re regulating the future of finance?), aims to finally draw a line between securities and commodities in the crypto world. The SEC and CFTC have been playing jurisdictional hot potato for years, leaving companies to guess the rules and wait for lawsuits to clarify them. It’s like a game of regulatory musical chairs, but the music never stops.
The proposed law would allow authorities to sentence people running scam operations or committing digital currency fraud to life in prison. It would also allow for the death penalty for those who use violence, torture, or illegal imprisonment to force victims of trafficking to carry out online scams.
The CoinDesk 20 is currently trading at 2169.26, up 0.4% (+8.61) since 4 p.m. ET on Wednesday.
The Los Angeles-based company announced Thursday that it received a Series B funding round with participation from investors including SBI Group of Japan, Investcorp, and Arz Portföy, a Turkish asset manager. The company didn’t reveal how much the investment valued it.
Key Takeaways, if one must be so prosaic:
Is Dogecoin about to surge past its current resistance level, or will it briefly fall back down before making its next big move?
Binance, ever the court jester, tweeted highlights of this intellectual joust, where Garlinghouse proclaimed the crypto realm teetering on the precipice of regulatory enlightenment. “We are as close to the finish line as a snail on a leisurely stroll,” he quipped, his optimism as thick as the fog over a Moscow morning.
Crystal Intelligence’s 2026 South Korea Country Assessment Report, a tome of revelations, details the Lazarus Group’s exploits with a precision that borders on the poetic. Six of nine major breaches, spanning from 2017 to 2025, bear their mark, with losses ranging from $196 million to $225 million. A November 2025 attack, a mere $30.4 million, remains under investigation, though Lazarus’s shadow lingers like a persistent cough.
Apparently, 2,649 new accounts decided to slide into XRP’s DMs in a single day. And no, they’re not just here for the free crypto merch. The network’s payment counts are hitting over a million transactions daily-because who doesn’t love a little financial drama? Speculative spikes? Nah, this is the real deal, honey.