Dutch outfit Amdax just birthed AMBTS, aiming to park 1 % of every Bitcoin ever mined in its treasury so big-money suits can say “Hello, Crypto” without opening Coinbase-because Europe, apparently, needs its own Fort Knox of bits and bytes. 🤡
Scene 1: Larry David walks into a Bitcoin conference.
“One percent? ONE PERCENT? These guys want to own 210 thousand coins? I can’t even find one coin behind my couch cushions! Europe, let me explain-having ‘only’ the currency of WorldCoin is embarrassing enough; now you’re cornering digital gold? That’s like hoarding all the decent matzo before Passover. Pretty, pretty, greedy!”
New Kid on the Blockchain Walks Red Carpet for Hedge-Fund Paparazzi 🤵♂️🤳
Larry: “Institutional investors want Bitcoin exposure… sure they do. Next you’ll tell me they want exposure to the sun without going outside. Look, I get it-Bitcoin’s up 32 % this year, outperforming my cholesterol levels. But calling yourself a ‘treasury firm’ because you HODL a mountain of BTC? That’s like calling my sock drawer a ‘cotton futures fund.’”
Fun Fact That Nobody Asked For: Corporations and governments already swallowed 10 % of Bitcoin’s supply. Larry inserts hands into imaginary pockets, finds lint, sighs. “Great, I missed the buffet line again.”
What Europe Gets:
AMBT-whatever-is listed on Euronext Amsterdam: the stock exchange that sounds like a cologne.
MiCAR license (translation: Brussels approved, mom still suspicious).
ISAE 3000 audits-because nothing screams “trust me” like 3,000 auditors poking around faster than Elaine examines a pretzel 👀.
Ambitious Fundraising Plan or Just a Plus-Minus Business Model? 💸🧮
Larry: “First they court private investors-translation: friends & family dinner you weren’t invited to-and then they float an IPO so the public can ride this coaster with seatbelts made of blockchain buzzwords.”
Meanwhile, Germany’s Bitcoin Group already sits on a hoard. “Schadenfreude much?” mutters Larry, clutching imaginary Aspirin. “If every European firm buys the dip, pretty soon the dip moves to Lichtenstein and asks for asylum.”
In Conclusion (Because We’re Told We Need One):
AMBTS wants to corner 1 % of Bitcoin. Europe wants relevance. Larry wants the check. World keeps spinning, preferably on an SSD with RGB lighting. Stay tuned for next week’s Curb Your Enthusiasm episode titled: “The Bitcoin Bar Mitzvah.” 🎉💰
– – –
Related Reading on Larry’s Sofa:
🇹🇼 Taiwan’s public Bitcoin treasury just secured $10 million. Larry: “I can’t even secure my Wi-Fi.”
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2025-08-19 00:01