Darling, Bitcoinβs performance has been as underwhelming as a tepid cup of tea at a high-society soiree. The poor dear is teetering on the brink of $90,000, threatening to take a nosedive into the abyss of financial despair. πͺοΈ
And letβs not forget the larger-cap alts, darlings, who are all slightly in the red-a shade I simply cannot abide. ETH has slumped to $3,100, while XRP is clinging to $2.00 like a socialite to her last glass of champagne. π₯
Will BTC Surrender the $90K Throne? π
Ah, the week began with such promise, my dears! The FOMC meeting on Wednesday had everyone in a tizzy, and Bitcoin briefly soared to $94,500-a multi-week peak, no less! But alas, it was all a charade. After the Fedβs 25 bps rate cut, our dear BTC lost its luster faster than a debutante losing her cool at a ball. π
It bounced to $93,600 on Thursday, only to be rejected like a poorly written invitation. By Friday, it had dipped below $90,000 again. The bulls tried to rally on Saturday, pushing it to $90,500, but the bears-those persistent darlings-have been clawing back ever since. π»
Its market cap has slipped below $1.8 trillion, and its dominance over the altcoins is a mere 57%. How trΓ¨s tragic! π

Red and Green: The Financial Cabaret π¨
On the daily scale, most larger-cap alts are as sluggish as a society matron after a three-course luncheon. But letβs focus on their weekly antics, shall we? ETH, despite slipping 1% today, is up 2% weekly at $3,100. XRP, poor thing, has lost 1% and is fighting to stay above $2.00. TRX is down 3%, and HBAR has plummeted 8%-a veritable disaster, darling! π
But fear not, for there are winners in this financial cabaret! ZEC has exploded by 25%, though itβs down 5% since Saturday. MNT is up 18% to $1.27, CC has gained 14%, and XMR has leaped 9%. And the star of the show? M, with a 40% weekly surge! Meanwhile, QNT and KAS are down 11% each-a sad trombone for them. πΊ
The total crypto market cap has shed another $20 billion, settling at $3.150 trillion. Oh, the drama! π

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2025-12-14 14:46