🚀 Ethereum to $12K? Bulls Dream, Bears Scheme! 🤑

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Ah, the fickle dance of fortune! Behold, the second-largest cryptocurrency by market cap, Ethereum, hath leapt past $4,200 with the grace of a courtier dodging scandal. For the first time since the year of our Lord 2021, it hath liquidated $207 million in shorts, leaving them as bereft as a jester without his bells. 😂

The market, ever a stage of folly and wisdom, is abuzz with whispers. Some proclaim this the dawn of a historic ascent to $12,000, while others, with furrowed brows, warn of a bear trap so brutal it would make Tartuffe blush. 🌋

The Bull’s Bold Prophecy

Enter Tracer, that enigmatic on-chain analyst, whose followers number more than the courtiers at Versailles. “$ETH,” they declare with the fervor of a lover, “is poised to shatter four years of resistance! $12,000 is no longer a dream but a destiny!” A “MONSTER rally,” they say, awaits, demanding immediate action lest one be left as outdated as a powdered wig. 🦄

And lo, Crypto Rover, that YouTube bard, joins the chorus, predicting a leap to $6,000 on the wings of institutional favor. “Once BlackRock’s Spot $ETH Staking ETF is approved,” he proclaims, “we shall teleport to $6,000!” 🛸

“Teleport, you say? Pray tell, does this ETF come with a carriage of unicorns?”

Glassnode, that oracle of data, lends credence to this optimism, noting a surge in first-time buyers and momentum chasers, as if the masses have awoken from a slumber, wallets in hand. 💼

Ethereum’s triumph over the $4,200 barrier was fueled by a 19% weekly gain, with a 7.5% leap in the last 24 hours. Shorts were vanquished, and even Eric Trump, scion of the American throne, tweeted with glee: “It warms my heart to see ETH shorts smoked. Cease betting against BTC and ETH, lest you be trampled like a peasant at a royal feast.” 👑

“Trampled, indeed! But who shall wipe the tears of the shorts?”

The Bears’ Ominous Whisper

Yet, not all is mirth and merriment. EGRAG CRYPTO, that skeptic of ETH, plots a chilling revenge: “If #ETH / #BTC closes above 0.039, I shall short it with the fervor of a scorned lover!” He sees this pump as a trap, a chance for “personal revenge,” as if the market were a duel at dawn. ⚔️

Even Michaël van de Poppe, that voice of caution, warns against greed: “To buy $ETH at these heights is as risky as trusting a flatterer’s praise. Rotate your capital, lest you be left holding the bag.” 🛡️

With ETH now but a stone’s throw from its all-time high, the $12,000 dream seems less fantastical to the eternal optimists. Yet, EGRAG’s lurking short and Van de Poppe’s warnings are reminders: parabolic rises often end in tears, as inevitable as a farce’s final act. 😢

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2025-08-09 23:14