🚨 Senate Saves the Day, Bitcoin Moons: Is This Even Real? 🚀

In the dimly lit chambers of the U.S. Senate, where the air is thick with the scent of stale coffee and unspoken compromises, a miracle occurred. Like a peasant finally spotting a loaf of bread after a famine, the senators, with a swiftness that defies their usual glacial pace, passed the amended appropriations bill. The government, after a 40-day slumber-the longest in the annals of American bureaucracy-is to awaken. Eleanor Terrett, ever the vigilant chronicler, reports that the bill now waltzes to the House, where its fate will be sealed within hours. 🕊️

Lawmakers, no doubt weary of the endless bickering and the haunting echo of “shutdown” in their dreams, moved with a haste that would make a hare blush. One insider, perhaps still in disbelief, quipped: “I thought they wouldn’t be done until later tonight, but they sped through that. They want out of this town.” Ah, the sweet escape from duty! 🏃♂️💨

JUST IN: The Senate has passed the amended appropriations bill to reopen the government.

The bill now heads to the House and the Senate will be out for the rest of the week.

As one source of mine put it: “I thought they wouldn’t be done until later tonight but they sped…

– Eleanor Terrett (@EleanorTerrett) November 11, 2025

With the Senate adjourned, like a theater closing its curtains after a mediocre play, all eyes turn to the House. Will they follow suit? If the stars align and the gods of bureaucracy smile upon us, federal operations may resume as early as tomorrow. A nation holds its breath-or perhaps, more accurately, checks its watch. ⏳

Bitcoin, Ever the Drama Queen, Steals the Show

As the news of the deal spread, the crypto market reacted with the subtlety of a Tolstoy novel. Bitcoin, ever the prima donna, surged past $106,000, its highest point in nearly a week. Ethereum, not to be outdone, leaped with grace, while XRP climbed a modest but respectable 2%. The shutdown, which had frozen the economy like a winter in Yasnaya Polyana, finally began to thaw. ❄️🔥

Ah, the familiar dance of politics and markets! Government reopenings, it seems, are to crypto what spring is to the Russian steppe-a time of renewal and exuberance. The last such resolution, in early 2020, preceded a rally so grand it might have made Pierre Bezukhov blush. Though, as fate would have it, the pandemic soon cast its shadow, reminding us that even the brightest moments are fleeting. 🌱🦠

Now, with Washington back to its old tricks and the Federal Reserve tiptoeing around rate hikes, experts whisper of a returning risk appetite. Bitcoin, holding steadfast above $100,000, is seen as a beacon of hope-a bullish sign in a world of uncertainty. And let us not forget the SEC, whose funding will be restored, potentially paving the way for ETF approvals and other crypto-related decisions. The ripple effects, my dear reader, could be as vast as the Russian plains. 🌊

In the end, as the government stirs from its slumber and Bitcoin soars to new heights, one cannot help but marvel at the absurdity of it all. Is this progress, or merely the latest act in an endless drama? Perhaps, like life itself, it is both-a comedy and a tragedy, played out on the grand stage of human folly. 🌍🎭

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2025-11-11 07:38