Ah, the marvelous world of crypto, where pardons are handed out like lollipops at a children’s party and CEOs speak in riddles that would make the BFG scratch his head! Binance’s new ringmaster, Richard Teng, has finally opened his gob-for the first time since Changpeng “CZ” Zhao got a golden ticket from President Donald Trump. 🧑⚖️✨ Teng claims Binance is now as squeaky-clean as a Willy Wonka chocolate bar, focusing on rebuilding trust and tiptoeing into a future where crypto rules are as clear as a Dahlian plot twist. (Which, let’s face it, isn’t very clear at all. 😏)
Richard Teng’s Grand Circus of Compliance
In a chat with CNBC-where serious people say serious things-Teng declared Binance has learned its lesson, like a naughty child who’s finally eaten their Brussels sprouts. 🥦 The company’s x402 integration is apparently the cherry on top of their compliance sundae, proving they’re not just a bunch of scoundrels in hoodies. (Though, let’s be honest, hoodies are still very much in fashion. 🧥)
Teng chirped that investors and government bigwigs are now as confident in Binance as a giant peach floating down a river. 🍑 “Crypto is mainstream!” he proclaimed, as if we didn’t already know that from the endless ads featuring Matt Damon. Clearer rules, he added, will lure more folks into the crypto circus-because who doesn’t love a good regulatory tightrope act? 🤡
Here’s my take: Crypto is now mainstream. Clear regulations will drive greater adoption, and we’re working with regulators to make that happen.
As for the chatter around CZ’s pardon, we’re focused on facts and the future. 🧐✨
– Richard Teng (@_RichardTeng) November 3, 2025
He also mentioned the new political climate is as warm and fuzzy as a giant’s hug, less about whacking misbehaving companies and more about giving them a pat on the back. (Unless, of course, you’re a giant with a grudge. 🧌)
Teng took the reins in late 2023, after Binance coughed up a fortune for anti-money-laundering mishaps. Since then, they’ve been busy beefing up their systems and throwing money at regulators like confetti at a party. 🎉
CZ’s Pardon: A Tale of Two Reactions
Now, let’s talk about CZ’s pardon, shall we? It’s caused more of a stir than a witch’s cauldron at midnight. 🧙♀️ Some say it’s political favoritism, while others see it as a chance for the industry to dust itself off and prance forward. Teng, ever the diplomat, waved it off like a fly at a picnic, insisting it’s not worth more than a footnote in Binance’s grand saga. 📖
He also scoffed at rumors linking Binance to shady non-crypto deals, pointing to a shiny new investment from Abu Dhabi’s MGX fund as proof they’re not just playing in the sandbox. And, in a move that screams “I’m a serious grown-up now,” Teng joined The Digital Chamber’s advisory board to push for crypto laws that aren’t as confusing as a Dahlian word puzzle. 🧩
In the end, Teng stressed Binance is all about the future-a future where crypto rules are as predictable as a Roald Dahl twist. (Which is to say, not very. But we’ll take what we can get. 🤷♂️)
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2025-11-03 18:41