Ah, the theater of finance! Behold, the great Donald Trump, our modern-day Tartuffe, doth castigate the noble David Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs, for the sin of… *gasp*… listening to his economists! 😱
In a missive most profound, the analysts of Goldman Sachs, led by the learned Jan Hatzius, proclaimed that the tariffs-those cunning taxes on foreign goods-hath burdened the American consumer with 22% of the cost, and lo, it may rise to 67%! A dire warning, indeed, yet Trump doth scoff and cry, “Fie! ‘Tis but a trifle!”
On the digital stage of Truth Social, Trump declaimed with great fervor: “David, thou must replace thy economist, or perchance, thou shouldst stick to thy turntables and leave the affairs of finance to those less… rhythmic.” 😂 A jest most biting, yet one wonders if the DJ doth protest too much?
“Tariffs,” quoth Trump, “bringeth treasure untold to our coffers, and the common folk feel not their sting!” Yet Goldman Sachs, those stubborn Cassandras, insist the burden falleth on the consumer. Who to believe? The oracle of Mar-a-Lago or the scribes of Wall Street?
Trump continued, with a flourish most dramatic: “Goldman Sachs, thou hast erred in thy predictions, both of market and tariff! Thy economists are but fools, and thou, David, art led astray by their folly!” 🌪️ A tragedy, indeed, or perhaps a comedy of errors?
And so, the drama unfolds, with Trump as the protagonist, Solomon as the beleaguered hero, and the economists as the chorus, singing their warnings into the void. Will Solomon heed Trump’s decree, or shall he stand firm against the tempest? Only time, dear reader, shall tell. 🍿
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2025-08-14 12:24