3 Crypto Stocks That Might Actually Make You Rich (Or Not, Whatever) 🚀

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The crypto rollercoaster keeps jerking us around. Last week, the market cap dipped 4%, so naturally, everyone’s pretending that means we’re all going to be billionaires soon. Or not. Who knows anymore? 🤷‍♀️

Some crypto stocks finished last week looking like they just got a fresh dose of hope, while others are still sulking in the corner like a toddler missing their nap. Naturally, the winners are trying to climb out of the dirt, and the losers are just digging in deeper.

IREN Limited (IREN)

IREN closed Monday at a cool $23.12, up a sweet 7.89%. Yeah, apparently, infrastructure upgrades are the new magic potion. They just bought 4,200 NVIDIA Blackwell B200 GPUs-that’s right, more graphics cards than most gamers dream about-doubling their GPU army to around 8,500 units. Because nothing says “investment strategy” like spending millions on chips that make Bitcoin mining possible. 💰

They also snagged $102 million for more GPU shopping, technically leasing it with high single-digit interest, which sounds fancy unless you’re bad at math. This move might make the stock pop to $24 if everyone wakes up and decides to buy instead of the usual panic selling.

Pre-market, it dipped slightly to $23.08, so maybe it’s just resting before the next pump. Or falling apart, who can tell? If demand keeps tanking, below $21.54 is a real possibility. Fingers crossed for the latter. 🧐

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Hut 8 (HUT)

Hut 8 just announced plans to develop four shiny new sites all across the US, because apparently, digital infrastructure is more popular than avocado toast now. These new sites will crank up their capacity to over 2.5 gigawatts-enough to power… probably a small country, or at least a really big Netflix binge.

Despite sounding like a big deal, HUT’s shares in pre-market are lounging at $23.18, a cozy drop from $23.45 on Monday. If it slides further, maybe down to $21.93, and honestly, that’s so… last week. If demand unexpectedly skyrockets (hey, it could happen), it might revisit that resistance near $23.89, or maybe just dream about it.

Cross your fingers-if the universe is feeling generous, HUT could shoot back up. Or totally crater, again, who’s surprised?

MARA Holdings, Inc. (MARA)

MARA closed Monday at $15.40, feeling 5.52% sadder after announcing some big plans for Europe-because everyone loves a good expansion, right? They’ve even set up shop in Paris, because apparently, that’s where all the crypto dreams come true. Or something like that.

Despite it all, MARA’s pre-market shows a slightly lower price at $15.27, which means it might hit rock bottom at $14.80 if we’re lucky. But if demand wakes up and decides to be nice, it might just hop above $15.50 and throw a little party.

Because why not gamble on it, right? The crypto universe loves surprises-most of them bad, but hey, at least it’s never boring.

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2025-08-26 16:57