Bitpanda Dumps London Like a Bad Date, Eyes Frankfurt or NYC 🌃💔

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Demuth, with a shrug that could rival the Alps in its indifference, confided to the Financial Times that London’s charm has faded like a cheap suit under a rainy sky. “Liquidity-wise, the LSE is drowning in its own tea,” he quipped, his voice dripping with the kind of sarcasm that could curdle milk. Vienna’s darling, Bitpanda, now flirts with Frankfurt’s precision or New York’s dazzle, leaving London to ponder its lost allure. 🥂✨

The exodus is as inevitable as a winter frost in Siberia. British fintech Wise has already packed its bags, and others are eyeing the horizon like seagulls spotting a discarded chip. London, once the belle of the financial ball, now sits alone, clutching its ledger and muttering about blockchain’s missed opportunities. 💼🌍

London’s IPO Market: A Desert in a Raincoat

The numbers don’t lie, though they might weep. Capital raised from London listings has hit a 30-year low, a nadir so deep it makes the Thames look like a puddle. Critics, never short on words, accuse the UK of squandering its crypto crown faster than a gambler at Ascot. Crypto firms, once smitten with London’s promise, now glance elsewhere, their hearts set on the bright lights of the Big Apple. 🍎💸

Crypto Firms: All Aboard the NYC Express 🚀

Meanwhile, the U.S. rolls out the red carpet like a seasoned host. Gemini, Figure, BitGo, and Bullish are all lining up for their Nasdaq close-ups, their SEC filings as crisp as a freshly minted dollar bill. Bitpanda, though expanding in the UK with the zeal of a football sponsor (Arsenal, no less), has decided London’s not worth the listing fee. Ouch. ⚽💔

Bitpanda’s UK expansion-600 digital assets, a football deal, and yet, when it comes to going public, London’s left holding the receipt. “Thanks for the memories,” it seems to say, “but Frankfurt’s pretzels and New York’s bagels are calling.” 🥨🥯

Disclaimer: This article is as reliable as a weather forecast in April. Do your own research, consult a wizard (or a financial advisor), and don’t blame us if your investments turn into pumpkin spice lattes. Coindoo.com neither endorses nor recommends anything except maybe a good book and a warm blanket. 📚🧣

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2025-08-26 22:57