tag and not repeated in the body. Need to retain all images in their places. First, I need to understand Molière’s style. He’s a French playwright known for satire, wit, and exposing human foibles. So the tone should be humorous, maybe a bit exaggerated, using a conversational and theatrical flair. The original text is about Bitcoin’s potential future price and institutional adoption. Translating that into Molière’s style means adding some playful language, maybe personifying Bitcoin or institutions as characters in a play. Next, the title. It needs to be catchy, under 100 characters, and in the tag. The original title is “Institutions Want Bitcoin – Bitwise Sees $1.3M BTC by 2035”. To make it more clickbaity and Molière-esque, maybe something like “Bitcoin’s Grand Entrance: Institutions Bow to $1.3M BTC by 2035 😲”. Adding an emoji and making it sound dramatic. Now, the body. Remove all tags. The original uses for text formatting, but the user wantsAnalyzing the text… it without. So I’ll just use and other tags as needed. Add humor and sarcasm. For example, instead of “inelastic supply”, maybe “scarcity, that most stubborn of all companions”. Use emojis like 🤑 or 🚀 to add flair. Check the structure: the original has several sections with headers. I’ll keep those but rephrase the headers in a more Molière-like manner. For example, “The Numbers: Bitwise’s Bold Math” becomes “The Numbers: Bitwise’s Grandiose Calculations 🤓”. In the body paragraphs, inject some wit. For instance, when talking about the bear case, say “Even the ‘bear’ case resembles a well-fed 401(k), not a financial apocalypse.” Add emojis where appropriate to highlight points humorously. Ensure that the images remain in their original positions. The user specified to retain all images on their places, so the tags should stay where they are. Institutions Bow to $1.3M BTC by 2035 😲

by

Madame Bitcoin, with her inelastic supply and a wink to institutions, declares, “I shall not be ignored!” The trio of forces-scarcity, adoption, and fiat’s fiery demise-conspire to make this the most fashionable investment since powdered wigs. 🎩

The Numbers: Bitwise’s Grandiose Calculations 🤓

Bitwise’s “Long-Term Capital Market Assumptions” (a title so long it deserves its own opera) predict Bitcoin’s CAGR at 28.3%-a number so bold it makes equities blush and gold weep. By 2035, BTC shall command $1.3 million, or roughly the price of a small island and a very expensive toupee. 🏝️

But fret not! The firm offers scenarios, like a menu at a fancy Parisian restaurant:

  • Bull case: $2.97M BTC (39.4% CAGR) – for those who dine on dreams and champagne. 🥂
  • Base case: $1.3M BTC (28.3% CAGR) – the bourgeois choice. 🏢
  • Bear case: $88,005 BTC (2% CAGR) – even this is a 401(k) in disguise. 💰

One might call it a “bear,” but it’s less of a market collapse and more of a polite nod to stability. 🐻

Institutions: The New Whales 🐳

Retail birthed Bitcoin, but institutions now waltz in her court. Bitwise’s analysts (names so long they could be a comedy act) reveal 75% of Coinbase’s volume is now Wall Street’s doing. Pensions, corporate treasuries, and not a single Reddit comment. 📉

Demand? A veritable stampede! Daily mining yields 450 BTC, while institutions hoover up 2,500 BTC in 48 hours. Supply and demand: a tango where one partner is very, very drunk. 🕺

Corporate adoption? Thirty-five firms now hold over 1,000 BTC each. MicroStrategy, the undisputed king, added 632,457 BTC in August. Their paper profit? $25 billion. One might call it prudent… or perhaps a midlife crisis. 🎩

The Scarcity Story: Not Just a Joke 🤡

By 2032, Bitcoin’s issuance plummets to 0.2% annually. Fiat, meanwhile, prints money like it’s 1694 and the Mississippi Bubble is still hot. Already, 94.8% of BTC circulates, and 70% hasn’t moved since 2016. HODL: the art of doing nothing while your neighbors panic. 🧊

Bitwise, ever the dramatist, proclaims: “Scarcity and demand are the love story of our time.” Translation: Miners can’t mine faster than a snail on a tricycle. 🐌

Macro: Fiat’s Last Stand 🛑

Bitcoin: sound money. Fiat: unsound, with U.S. debt now $36.2 trillion. Interest payments? $1 trillion annually. That’s like telling your lover, “I love you,” while burning your savings. 💔

Interest costs now outpace GDP growth. A treadmill of doom where you’re the only one running. Eventually, you trip. Bitcoin, meanwhile, stands firm-a digital Bastille. 🏰

Perfect Storm, Perfect Setup 🌪️

Behold the trifecta:

  • Supply locked. 🚪
  • Institutions hoarding. 🐟
  • Macro cracking. 🧨

Thinking about life…

tags, and no color styles. They also want some humor, sarcasm, and emojis. Plus, the title must be in a

tag and not repeated in the body. Need to retain all images in their places.</p> <p>First, I need to understand Molière’s style. He’s a French playwright known for satire, wit, and exposing human foibles. So the tone should be humorous, maybe a bit exaggerated, using a conversational and theatrical flair. The original text is about Bitcoin’s potential future price and institutional adoption. Translating that into Molière’s style means adding some playful language, maybe personifying Bitcoin or institutions as characters in a play.</p> <p>Next, the title. It needs to be catchy, under 100 characters, and in the <title> tag. The original title is “Institutions Want Bitcoin – Bitwise Sees $1.3M BTC by 2035”. To make it more clickbaity and Molière-esque, maybe something like “Bitcoin’s Grand Entrance: Institutions Bow to $1.3M BTC by 2035 😲”. Adding an emoji and making it sound dramatic.</p> <p>Now, the body. Remove all tags. The original uses for text formatting, but the user wantsAnalyzing the text…<br /> it without. So I’ll just use </p> <p> and other tags as needed. Add humor and sarcasm. For example, instead of “inelastic supply”, maybe “scarcity, that most stubborn of all companions”. Use emojis like 🤑 or 🚀 to add flair.</p> <p>Check the structure: the original has several sections with </p> <h2> headers. I’ll keep those but rephrase the headers in a more Molière-like manner. For example, “The Numbers: Bitwise’s Bold Math” becomes “The Numbers: Bitwise’s Grandiose Calculations 🤓”.</p> <p>In the body paragraphs, inject some wit. For instance, when talking about the bear case, say “Even the ‘bear’ case resembles a well-fed 401(k), not a financial apocalypse.” Add emojis where appropriate to highlight points humorously.</p> <p>Ensure that the images remain in their original positions. The user specified to retain all images on their places, so the <img/> tags should stay where they are.<br /> Institutions Bow to $1.3M BTC by 2035 😲</h2> </p> <p>

Miners trickle out 450 BTC daily while institutions devour multiples in hours. Bitwise’s $1.3M by 2035? Not outrageous-just the arithmetic of greed and scarcity. A comedy of errors, but one with a happy ending. 🎉

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2025-08-29 01:30