🚀 Crypto Cash Bonanza: $1.2B Raining Down Like Digital Manna! 🤑

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So, it turns out the week of September 7-13 was not just another seven days of people staring at their screens wondering if their crypto will ever moon. Oh no, it was a milestone week, with a staggering $1.213 billion in crypto funding sloshing around like a particularly generous intergalactic bartender. 🍸 Across 10 projects, no less! VC rounds, IPOs-you name it, the money was flowing faster than a Vogon’s poetry reading.

  • Crypto funding hit $1.21b, with IPOs leading the charge like a herd of hyper-caffeinated space antelopes. 🦌
  • Figure’s $787.5m IPO was so big, it probably has its own gravitational pull. 🌌
  • Gemini nabbed $425m in their IPO, while Rapyd snagged $500m in Series F-because who needs a Series G when you’re already this cool? 😎

Here’s the definitive (and slightly absurd) overview of this week’s crypto funding shenanigans, as per the Crypto Fundraising data:

Figure

  • Figure raised $787.5 million through an IPO. Yes, you read that right. That’s more zeros than a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy phone number. 📞
  • They do loan origination and equity management, which sounds fancy but is basically financial wizardry. 🧙♂️
  • Total haul so far? $2.51 billion. They’re not just playing the game; they’re rewriting the rules. 📜

Rapyd

  • Rapyd secured $500 million in a Series F round. Because why stop at Series E when you can go full alphabet? 🔤
  • They’re a global fintech platform offering payment infrastructure, which is just a fancy way of saying they make money move faster than a Heart of Gold skipping through hyperspace. 🚀
  • Backed by Xpring, Target Global, and BlackRock. Basically, the Avengers of investors. 🦸♂️

Gemini

  • Raised $425 million through an IPO. Not bad for a US-based cryptocurrency exchange and custodian bank. 🇺🇸
  • Total raised so far? $825 million. They’re not just twins; they’re power twins. 👯♂️

Inversion Capital

  • Inversion Capital gathered $26.5 million in a Seed round. Because even private equity firms need a little seed money to get their garden growing. 🌱
  • They focus on traditional companies, which is like bringing a towel to a party-always useful. 📈
  • Investors include Dragonfly, VanEck, and Lightspeed Faction. Basically, the cool kids’ table. 🕶️

1/ We’re excited to announce Inversion’s seed round, led by @dragonfly_xyz with support from some of the best minds in crypto.

Thank you @HadickM, @hosseeb, and @TheOneandOmsy for believing in our mission. 🌟

– Inversion (@inversion_cap) September 8, 2025

Projects < $3 Million

  • Intuition, $2.13 million in a public sale with a $85 million fully diluted valuation. Because intuition is priceless, but $2.13 million is a good start. 💡
  • Everlyn, $2 million in a public sale with a $100 million fully diluted valuation. Everlyn is clearly ever-ready. 🌟
  • PlayAI, $2 million in a Public sale. Because AI needs to play too, right? 🎮
  • Gyld Finance, $1.5 million in a Pre-seed round. Gylding their way to success. 🏆
  • Recoveris, $1.26 million in a Seed round. Recovering lost funds, one seed at a time. 🌱

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2025-09-14 02:16