Bulgakov’s Tale: Crypto Chaos as NYDFS Chief Flee’s, Leaving a Paper Trail 🦄

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NYDFS reshapes crypto rules mid-exodus, as if writing a novel of custodianship and insolvency drama.

 

New York’s Financial Services Department, under the watchful eye of Superintendent Adrienne Harris (who shall soon vanish like a ghost at midnight), has updated its crypto guidance. These changes, arriving just before her October 18 departure, aim to shield users from the horrors of insolvency-because nothing says “trust” like a regulator leaving town mid-crash. 🎭

Custodian Guidelines: A Bureaucratic Ballet

The NYDFS, ever the poetic regulator, now demands that crypto custodians store assets in separate on-chain wallets or omnibus accounts with internal ledgers. Because nothing says “security” like a ledger within a ledger, nested like Russian dolls with blockchain hair. 🐻

DFS today decreed: “We shall strengthen consumer protections!” as if whispering to a crowd of virtual currency entities, who probably replied, “How very Shakespearean.” Full release:

– NYDFS (@NYDFS)

These rules now bar custodians from using your crypto to secure credit. A noble move, unless you’re a crypto CEO who thought your users’ funds were just collateral. Now they’ll have to rely on… well, maybe their own money? The horror! 💸

Harris Exits Stage Left, As Scheduled

Harris, after nearly four years of crypto regulation (a tenure marked by BitLicense and existential dread), will depart on October 18. Her successor, Kaitlin Asrow, will inherit the crown and the chaos. One wonders if she’ll bring a pocketful of emergency Bitcoin. 🤔

The NYDFS, now in transition, will continue its mission: regulating crypto while pretending it understands it. The new guidance? A gift to the next regime, wrapped in legalese and tied with a bow of irony. 🎁

NYDFS: Guardian of the Digital Wild West

Since 2015, the NYDFS has been the bouncer at the crypto saloon, enforcing the BitLicense program. A marvel of modern governance, it’s inspired states to ask, “What if we did that… but with more paperwork?” 📄

The department’s latest moves prove that in New York, even crypto needs a permit to breathe. And yet, the industry persists, like a weed in a concrete jungle. 🌱

Mayor Adams Quits, Too-But Why?

Eric Adams, New York’s mayor and Bitcoin enthusiast (he once got paid in crypto, which is either genius or a tax accountant’s nightmare), announced he won’t run again in 2025. His exit may leave a void in the city’s crypto-friendly policies-or at least a vacancy for someone who knows how to mint a tweet. 🗳️

“Only in America. Only in New York.” – Eric Adams, as if he’s the protagonist of a noir novel where the plot is “crypto.”

– Eric Adams (@ericadamsfornyc)

Adams’ departure could shift the city’s crypto stance, depending on who replaces him. Will the next mayor embrace Bitcoin or default to “Bitcoin is a scam, kids”? The future is as clear as a miner’s energy bill. 🔍

With both state and city leaders changing, New York’s crypto saga grows ever more absurd-a farce of regulators, mayors, and digital gold. Buckle up; it’s a rollercoaster of compliance. 🎢

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2025-10-01 05:40