Bitcoin Hits $125K: Exchanges Run Dry, Hodlers Rejoice! 🚀💰

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me a hodler! The amount of Bitcoin lounging on centralized exchanges has plummeted to a six-year low, just as the pesky pixelated coin decided to climb higher than a wizard on a broomstick. 🧙♂️✨

Bitcoin, that mischievous digital darling, reached a new all-time high on Sunday morning, soaring to a smidge over $125,700 on Coinbase, according to Tradingview. That’s right, it’s raining satoshis, and everyone’s got their buckets out! ☔💸

Its previous peak was a mere $124,500 on August 14th. After a brief dip of 13.5% by September 1st, it’s bounced back like a rubber chicken at a circus. ‘Uptober’ has arrived, and the clowns are bullish! 🎪🤡

“Bitcoin hits new all-time high … And most people still don’t even know what Bitcoin is,” quipped Nova Dius President Nate Geraci, probably while sipping tea and chuckling at the muggles. 🫖😂

“If Bitcoin can break $126,500 with the finesse of a thief in the night, then by the gods, the price will skyrocket faster than a troll on a sugar rush,” said analyst Rekt Capital, presumably while polishing his crystal ball. 🔮💨

Exchange Balances: Drier Than a Desert Lizard’s Throat 🦎☀️

The total Bitcoin balance on centralized exchanges has shriveled to a six-year low of 2.83 million BTC on Saturday, according to Glassnode. The last time exchanges were this empty, Bitcoin was trading at $8,000, and everyone was still trying to figure out if it was a fad or the future. Spoiler: it’s the future, folks! 🚀🔮

CryptoQuant, the blockchain analytics platform with a penchant for drama, reports a slightly lower figure of 2.45 million BTC, calling it a seven-year low. Either way, exchanges are running on fumes, and the hodlers are hoarding like it’s the apocalypse. 🧟♂️🛡️

Over the past fortnight, more than 114,000 BTC (worth a cool $14 billion) has vanished from exchanges faster than a thief in a Discworld market. According to Glassnode, that’s a lot of coins heading into self-custody, institutional vaults, or digital treasure chests. 🏴‍☠️💎

When Bitcoin flees exchanges like a rat from a sinking ship, it’s a sign that holders are in it for the long haul. No selling, no liquidating-just pure, unadulterated diamond hands. 💎✋

Exchanges: “We’re Fresh Out of Bitcoin, Sorry!” 🤷♂️🚫

“Hearing exchanges are out of Bitcoin,” said VanEck’s head of digital assets research, Matthew Sigel, on Saturday, probably while frantically checking his own stash. “Monday at 9:30 am might be the first official shortage. Not financial advice… but maybe grab some before it’s gone!” 🕰️🚨

Investor and trader Mike Alfred chimed in on Sunday morning, fresh from a 20-minute call with the big cheese of an OTC desk. “At this rate, they’ll be out of Bitcoin to sell within two hours of futures opening tomorrow, unless the price hits $126,000 to $129,000. Things are getting wilder than a goblin market!” 🧝♂️🎢

“He says at the current pace, they will be completely out of Bitcoin to sell within two hours of futures opening tomorrow, unless the price goes to $126,000 to $129,000. Things getting wild.”

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2025-10-05 08:10