Ah, the grand spectacle of capitalism on ice! The National Hockey League (NHL), that bastion of brute force and frozen dreams, has wedded itself to the prophets of profit-Polymarket and Kalshi. A union so bold, it makes one wonder if the puck itself will soon be traded on the open market. 🏒✨
Prediction Markets Hit the Ice: NHL Seals Deal With Kalshi and Polymarket
In a move that would make even the most jaded bookmaker blush, the agreements grant these two titans of speculation access to the NHL’s sacred data and logos. Yes, the very marks that once symbolized the sweat and blood of athletes will now adorn the screens of traders betting on whether the next goal will be scored by a left-winger or a right-minded algorithm. 🤖⚖️
Imagine, if you will, the brokers and merchants-those modern-day soothsayers-brandishing NHL-backed prediction products like holy relics. And lest we forget, the Digitally Enhanced Dasherboards (DED) will flash their names during broadcasts, because nothing says “sportsmanship” like a blue line slot virtual ad. 📺💸
“As prediction markets evolve faster than a slapshot,” declared Keith Wachtel, President of NHL Business, “partnering with these market leaders is a golden opportunity to engage fans in ways that make the game more… profitable. I mean, interactive.” 😏
“Polymarket and Kalshi are the perfect comrades in this capitalist crusade,” he added, his voice dripping with the sincerity of a used puck salesman.
Shayne Coplan, Polymarket’s founder and CEO, chimed in with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just discovered a new way to monetize fandom: “The NHL has always been about giving fans an incredible experience. Now, they can lose money while watching their favorite teams! It’s a win-win.” 🎉💸
Kalshi CEO Tarek Mansour, ever the poet of finance, called the collaboration “a milestone for the industry,” adding, “The NHL’s embrace is a testament to our integrity-and their thirst for a piece of the pie.” 🥧📈
All this comes on the heels of a record-breaking week for both platforms, which together processed over $2 billion in trading volume. Because, as we all know, nothing says “mainstream” like betting on hockey games with the fervor of a Wall Street trader. 📊💼
Polymarket, flush with a $2 billion investment from Intercontinental Exchange (ICE), and Kalshi, with its $300 million in fresh funding, are now joined by Draftkings in this grand circus of speculation. The NHL’s endorsement is the cherry on top of this capitalist sundae, a validation so sweet it’s almost… nauseating. 🍒🤢
FAQ 🏒
- What are Polymarket and Kalshi?
They are the modern-day oracles where gamblers-er, traders-bet on the whims of fate. 🧙♂️🔮 - What does the NHL partnership include?
The right to plaster NHL logos on their platforms, because nothing says “trust us” like a hockey stick and a dollar sign. 🏒💵 - Why is this deal significant?
It’s the first time a major sports league has openly embraced gambling-I mean, prediction markets. Progress? 🤔🎰 - How active are these platforms?
Last week, they processed over $2 billion in trades. Because who needs savings when you can bet on hockey? 🤑🏒
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2025-10-22 18:51