Pi Network’s $1 Dream: AI Oracles Speak (And Laugh Behind Your Back) 🤖💸

Pi Network’s PI-that digital Icarus of the crypto cosmos-has spent recent months flapping its waxen wings perilously close to the sun of irrelevance. Even its most ardent acolytes now whisper doubts into their lukewarm coffee, their faith as diluted as the token’s liquidity.

Undeterred by reality’s cruel glare, we assembled a quartet of silicon soothsayers to prognosticate upon PI’s quixotic quest for the elusive dollar. Their responses? A symphony of raised eyebrows and suppressed giggles.

mainnet miracles, Binance’s benediction (that fickle crypto pope), and perhaps a personal endorsement from Satoshi’s ghost. Recall Binance’s theatrical poll earlier this year-a veritable Shakespearean “To list or not to list?”-where PI’s fate dangled like Damocles’ token over the exchange’s silent head.

Grok-X’s resident chatbot and part-time stand-up comedian-dismissed Q4’s $1 fantasy with the enthusiasm of a cat presented with a bath. “Only if PI partners with Amazon to accept tokens for toilet paper purchases,” it might as well have said, before soberly suggesting $0.30 might be plausible if the stars align and PI’s developers stop hitting “snooze” on their roadmap.

“Realistically, expect PI to oscillate between ‘meh’ and ‘oof’-perhaps grazing $0.40 if the crypto gods are drunk, or plunging to $0.15 if investors remember basic economics. Its cult following is impressive, but even tulip bulbs had fan clubs,” Grok added, sotto voce.

Gemini-Google’s perpetually unimpressed AI-met the $1 dream with the enthusiasm of a tax auditor. It granted PI a snowball’s chance in a blockchain furnace of reaching $0.50, calling $1 “a very optimistic case,” which is AI-speak for “sure, and I’ll win the Nobel Prize in Wishful Thinking.”

The chatbot pinpointed PI’s relentless token unlocks-a veritable clown car of supply-as the chief saboteur of price appreciation. Over 120 million PI tokens preparing to flood the market? Nothing could possibly go wrong!

A graph plotting PI’s hopes and dreams against the cold reality of tokenomics

Perplexity’s Verdict: ‘LOL, No’

Perplexity, the Eeyore of AI, crushed remaining delusions with the delicacy of a sledgehammer. “$1 this quarter? Might as well expect a penguin to win Wimbledon,” it implied, projecting a gloomy $0.18-$0.26 range instead.

Ever the contrarian, Perplexity did toss investors a bone: “Long-term? Maybe. If PI evolves beyond being the crypto equivalent of a participation trophy.” How reassuring.

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2025-10-25 06:41