Gemini’s Revenue Soars-Stock Plummets! Because Crypto, That’s Why 🚀💸

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Gemini’s Q3 revenue jumped 52% thanks to trading frenemies and shiny new crypto products. But investors? They’re over here crying into their decentralized wallets. 🤷♂️

  • Gemini raked in $49.8M like it’s Black Friday, fueled by traders going “YOLO” and a credit card that screams “buy now, regret never.”
  • $159.5M loss? Pfft, just a tiny speed bump on the road to financial chaos. 🚗💨 Stock dropped 6.18% because investors love a good plot twist.

In a letter to shareholders that probably included a “lol, jk” footnote, Gemini bragged about doubling revenue YoY. Transaction fees? Up 26%! Because nothing says “we’re thriving” like charging $0.0001 per trade. 🦅

Services revenue hit $20M-thanks to crypto credit cards that 64,000 people signed up for. Pro tip: If you don’t check your balance, maybe it’ll magically turn into Lambos. 🚗💸

Credit card balances? $150.6M. Staking revenue? $5.9M, mostly from SOL staking. Because ETH is so last year. ⏳

But then… the twist! A $159.5M loss that’s 76.9% worse than last year. Congrats, Gemini-you’re winning at losing money! 🎉

Stock rallied 4% initially, then crashed 6.18% in after-hours. Truly, a rollercoaster for shareholders who forgot to buckle up. 🎢

Can Gemini’s stock recover?

GEMI’s stock is now more volatile than a TikTok crypto influencer’s life choices. $15.80? More like $15.80-why-bother. 🤨

Other crypto stocks are down too-except Coinbase and Robinhood, who are vibing like “not my circus, not my monkeys.” 🐒

Technical indicators say “sell,” “hide,” and “maybe panic.” But hey, if crypto markets rebound, Gemini could still pull a Cinderella story. Or a pumpkin story. 🎃

Diversifying into custody and staking? Genius. Now just wait for the next bull run. Fingers crossed, eyes on the moon, bags packed. 🌕🚀

Maybe Gemini will turn it around. Or maybe we’ll all just buy more Dogecoin. 🐕💸

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2025-11-11 12:17