Oh, timing! That elusive art of buying high, selling low, and somehow convincing yourself you’re a genius. The Abu Dhabi Investment Council (ADIC), a group of folks who presumably get paid to not lose money, decided to triple down on Bitcoin ETF shares in Q3. Because nothing says “strategic genius” like buying a volatile asset moments before it plummets like a brick in a swimming pool 📉.
- Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyers are heading to court like, “Wait, hold up-we’ve got a theory!” They’re arguing the FTX trial was a fix because the judge wouldn’t let them prove FTX had enough cash to cover withdrawals. Spoiler: The jury didn’t buy the “we’re just bad at math, not fraud!” defense. 🤦♂️
- SBF insists FTX collapsed because of “mismanagement and panic,” which is finance-speak for “nobody told us the emperor had no clothes.”
According to Bloomberg, ADIC went full “YOLO” with Bitcoin, boosting its stake in BlackRock’s IBIT ETF from 2.4 million to 8 million shares by September 30. That’s a cool $518 million bet on a digital coin that later decided to play rollercoaster without a safety harness. 🎢
Little did they know, Bitcoin would soon skyrocket to $126,251, fueled by ETF hype. But here’s the kicker: Right after hitting that high, it crashed below $92,000. Because of course it did. Leveraged positions got liquidated faster than you can say “blockchain,” and suddenly everyone’s a critic. ADIC, though, is playing it cool, calling Bitcoin a “long-term diversification strategy.” Sure, Jan. We’ve heard that one before. 🕰️
Mubadala, Abu Dhabi’s $330B piggy bank, also held steady with 8.7 million IBIT shares. But with IBIT down 20% since September, their “steady as she goes” approach feels less “wise” and more “deer in headlights.” 🦌
Bitcoin ETFs: Now With 3.1 Billion Reasons to Panic!
ADIC isn’t alone-Harvard’s money managers also bought the dip. But November saw record outflows as investors realized crypto’s version of “stability” is a myth. IBIT alone lost $523 million in a day. That’s not investing; that’s a hot potato game with 💸.
Abu Dhabi’s crypto obsession? It’s part of their “global digital hub” fantasy. Because nothing says “hub” like gambling on a currency that’s basically a mood ring 🌈. Mubadala’s $2B Binance stake earlier this year? Smooth move, J. Morgan.
Meanwhile, ADIC hired “industry veterans” to steer their crypto bets. Let’s hope these folks have better luck than the last team. Or a better escape plan. 🚪
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2025-11-19 19:47