Markets
What to know:
- Coinbase, in its valiant attempt to transcend the tyranny of spot trading, now dabbles in financial services-like a peasant trading plows for a crown. 🏰
- A December product event looms, a desperate circus of token launches and equity offerings. Will it be salvation or a 🐘 in a china shop?
- Clarity in U.S. regulations, they say, will let Coinbase outpace offshore rivals. One might call it hope; I call it wishful thinking. 🎩
Bernstein, that relentless optimist, clings to its “outperform” rating for Coinbase (COIN), chanting a $510 price target like a mantra, even as crypto’s markets tremble like a drunkard’s hands. The analysts, led by Gautam Chhugani, describe the current chaos as “fragile”-a polite word for a house of cards in a hurricane. 🏗️🌪️
Their note arrives as crypto’s public proxies writhe in existential dread, yet Bernstein insists this crash isn’t a bust-it’s just a “narrowly concentrated froth.” By which they mean: the madness is confined to MSTR copycats, while the “scaled players” (read: those with deeper pockets) pivot toward survival. A noble lie. 🤡
For Coinbase, the “bullish thesis” hinges on becoming an “everything exchange”-a euphemism for anything-but-spot trading. They’ll sell stablecoins, staking, custody-anything to mask the scent of beta. Investors, ever the optimists, still mistake these gambits for innovation. 🎲
Bernstein’s grand hope? U.S. regulators, those slow-moving titans, might one day bless Coinbase with clarity. A savior myth. Meanwhile, offshore rivals sprint ahead, listing tokens faster than a poet writes sonnets. But fear not! The flywheel of regulation, they say, will spin Coinbase to glory. 🚀
A key catalyst ahead
December 17th’s product showcase-a glittering spectacle of tokenized equities and prediction markets-will either save Coinbase or expose it as a magician with no rabbit. Derivatives, too, beckon, as Coinbase inches closer to Robinhood’s shadow. Two broken models, now merging like oil and water in a blender. 🥄
On the consumer front, the Base app promises to blend wallets, payments, and social features. A utopia, perhaps, if you ignore the “broader token access via onchain integrations.” A gilded cage, really. 🦄
Bernstein’s thesis? Coinbase is pivoting from a “spot-driven exchange” to a “distribution platform.” Translation: They’re grasping at straws while the crypto storm rages. Yet they cling to regulation, new issuance, and product suites as life rafts. A 90% upside, they whisper, as shares hover at $269.42. A delusion? Perhaps. Or the last gasp of a dying industry. 💀
Read More
- Gold Rate Forecast
- EUR USD PREDICTION
- Brent Oil Forecast
- BTC PREDICTION. BTC cryptocurrency
- Silver Rate Forecast
- GBP CNY PREDICTION
- EUR AUD PREDICTION
- USD JPY PREDICTION
- POL PREDICTION. POL cryptocurrency
- CNY JPY PREDICTION
2025-12-02 20:31