GameStop’s Q3 Earnings: A Bitcoin Bust & Retail Rumble 🎮📉

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GameStop’s Q3 earnings report was about as thrilling as a Monday morning meeting-except this time, the stock took a nosedive over 4% 🤯. Core sales slumped, Bitcoin gains shrank, and analysts are probably filing for divorce from their crystal balls. Seeking Alpha says the $821 million revenue miss? A stunning 17% shortfall from the $987 million they were daydreaming about. 💸

GameStop’s Bitcoin hoard (4,710 BTC) might as well be a cursed heirloom. The quarter? A $9 million loss. But hey, at least they’re up $19.4 million for the year-because obviously crypto is a stable investment. 🤷♂️

Q1 was déjà vu all over again. They missed by $22 million, proving that 2025 is the year GameStop mastered the art of “meh.” And remember when they pivoted to Bitcoin? The stock briefly hit $35, then crashed harder than a gamer’s hopes during a server outage. 🕹️🔥

GameStop sees little relief from its Bitcoin treasury strategy

Let’s be real: GameStop’s core business is as relevant as a flip phone at a TikTok convention. Physical games? Used game resales? So 2019. 📼 Meanwhile, their $1.5 billion Bitcoin splurge in April? A masterclass in how not to redecorate your portfolio. Shares dropped 11% the next day-because nothing says “confidence” like buying crypto while your stock plummets. 😂

CEO Ryan Cohen, ever the optimist, insists crypto is an “inflation hedge” and hinted at accepting Bitcoin payments. Because nothing says “future-proof” like letting customers pay with assets that fluctuate more than a teenager’s mood. 🤷♀️ And trading cards? Oh, sure, let’s pivot to Pokémon cards while the rest of us panic. 🃏

The broader market? A dumpster fire of digital asset treasury companies. Standard Chartered says it’s “saturated”-translation: everyone’s jumping on the crypto bandwagon, and no one’s checking if the wagon has wheels. 🚗💨 GameStop’s stock slump is just the opening act of this chaotic opera. 🎭

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2025-12-11 00:41