Scandal & Shorts: A Most Improper Affair at HyperLiquid 🎭💸

A Most Peculiar Situation

• HyperLiquid, with all the solemnity of a vicar at Sunday service, declared its staff forbidden from trading HYPE-though a certain former employee appears to have forgotten this edict amidst their short-selling escapades.
• HYPE, much like a debutante after an unfortunate encounter with punch, has tumbled 58% since October-though whispers of recovery flutter like hopeful fans at a country ball.
• A staggering $90M in HYPE tokens have been stirred from staking, hinting at future unlocks-though whether this portends fortune or folly remains to be seen.

The esteemed HyperLiquid Labs, purveyor of decentralized futures, has lately found itself embroiled in the sort of scandal that would make even Lady Whistledown blush. In a statement dripping with the gravity of a magistrate’s decree, the exchange proclaimed its employees strictly forbidden from dabbling in HYPE derivatives-lest they be tempted by confidential information, a vice most unbecoming.

This proclamation followed rumors of an ex-employee engaging in the vulgar practice of short-selling HYPE-an act the current staff assure us they would never condone, much less partake in. HyperLiquid, ever the bastion of virtue, warned that dishonesty would be met with the swiftest of consequences-legal, of course.

According to the ever-vigilant steven.hl upon the platform known as X, the wallet in question (0x7ae4, if one must know) belonged to a former employee dismissed in the first quarter of 2024-a fact HyperLiquid hastened to confirm, lest anyone suspect current personnel of such unseemly behavior. “A transparent financial future,” they declared with all the pomp of a royal decree, “demands ethical conduct.”

A Treatise on Proper Conduct (Or Lack Thereof)

As decreed in HyperLiquid’s Discord annals, the Trading Policy-more ironclad than a spinster’s resolve-forbids the trading of HYPE derivatives. Shorting, longing, and any dalliance with material non-public information are strictly prohibited, lest one invite scandal and disgrace.

Sharing confidential knowledge-whether by whisper, missive, or carrier pigeon-is likewise forbidden. HyperLiquid, ever the moral compass, insists these measures are vital to preserving market confidence-though one wonders if such confidence is not already shaken.

“Integrity,” they intoned, “is non-negotiable.” Violators, they warned, would face immediate termination and the full wrath of legal proceedings-a fate surely worse than being caught without gloves at Almack’s.

A Market in Disarray (Or Merely a Case of the Vapors?)

HYPE, much like a gentleman’s reputation after an ill-advised wager, has suffered a precipitous decline-58% from its October zenith of $60 to a rather pitiful $24.97. The Bollinger Bands, those ever-dramatic indicators, have widened like a debutante’s fan, signaling volatility most extreme.

The Simple Moving Average, alas, trends downward-a sure sign of bearish sentiment. The Stochastic RSI, meanwhile, languishes in oversold territory, suggesting that HYPE may yet recover-if only someone would stop fainting at the sight of red candles.

A faint glimmer of hope emerges in the form of recent green candles-though whether this heralds a true recovery or merely a brief respite before further calamity remains uncertain.

Tokens on the Move (Or: Whither Goest Thou, HYPE?)

Rumors abound-as they so often do-that HyperLiquid recently shifted $90M in HYPE from staking wallets to spot wallets, presumably in anticipation of token unlocks. The team’s address (0x43…a251, for those keeping score) transferred a staggering 2.6 million HYPE earlier today.

Most HYPE remains staked-some $8.28 billion-while a mere $74 million sits in spot balances. Transfers ranged from modest sums to rather extravagant ones, all sent to external addresses with the haste of a suitor fleeing an overeager mother.

Despite rampant speculation, HyperLiquid insists it has not sold a single HYPE token-though HypingBull, ever the skeptic, remarked: “The miracle did not occur. Rewards were distributed, the rest returned to staking.” One can almost hear the collective sigh of disappointment.

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2025-12-22 12:09