The crypto circus has kicked off its annual spectacle, and the acrobats-dressed in dollar signs and desperation-are leaping through the hoops of perpetual contracts. Glassnode, that digital oracle of doom, reports open interest has swelled from 304,000 to 310,000 BTC, as if the market itself is hyperventilating over a $90,000 mirage. “Breathe, everyone,” whispers the wind, ignored.
Funding rates, those sly little serpents, have slithered from 0.04% to 0.09%, a feverish dance of longs and shorts playing Russian roulette with leverage. Glassnode, ever the grim reaper in a suit, declares: “Behold, the longs are back, like vultures circling a dying bull.” Perpetuals, those immortal contracts, now hum with the tension of a thousand unspoken prayers: Please, just don’t crash before Christmas.
Increased funding rates? A bullish carnival, yes-but also a warning bell. When traders pay premiums like they’re buying lottery tickets, the market smells like a campfire in a forest of kindling. Bitcoin, that fickle lover, flirted with $90k and ran back to $88,200, leaving the partygoers clutching empty champagne flutes. 🍾✨

End-of-Year Options: A Fireworks Show or a Backfire?
December 26th arrives like a drunk elephant on a trampoline: $23 billion in options expiring, strikes clustered at $100k and $120k (because why not dream of Mars?), and puts lurking at $85k. Deribit, that sly market whisperer, grins: “Calls > puts. The crowd’s betting on a moonwalk.” But the “max pain” at $96k? That’s the universe’s way of saying, “Nice try, crypto clowns.” 😂💸
Put/call ratio: 0.37. Translation: “We’re all buying calls like they’re discount tickets to a spaceship.” If Bitcoin stays earthbound, $7,500 separates hope from heartburn. The optimists? They’ll be writing IOUs to the max pain gods. Let the games begin. 🎪🧨

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2025-12-23 06:47