Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse is practically doing the cha-cha slides over Senator Tim Scott’s market structure proposal. 🕺
He calls it a “massive step forward” for crypto-because nothing says “progress” like 137 amendments and enough drama to fill a Netflix series. 🤯
Ripple’s got more scars from regulatory whiplash than a rollercoaster ride. “Clarity beats chaos,” Garlinghouse declared, probably while sipping a latte labeled “Legal Certainty.” ☕
As U.Today so kindly spilled the tea, the bill’s amendment marathon has turned into a “who done it” mystery. Ripple’s playing nice, though-staying “at the table” like a crypto guest who’s definitely not hiding anything. 🕵️♂️
Garlinghouse’s optimism? More “I’ve seen worse on a Monday morning.” He’s betting on frameworks that’ll make crypto feel as cozy as a cashmere sweater… if cashmere could survive a regulatory washing machine. 🧣
The Senate Banking Committee just hit “pause” on their markup session-thanks to Coinbase’s CEO Brian Armstrong, who decided to throw a hissy fit louder than a Bitcoin price drop. 🐒
Lawmakers are now playing chicken with a bill that’s toxic enough to make a snake blush. The anti-stablecoin crowd and crypto fans are arguing like roommates who can’t agree on thermostat settings. ❄️🔥
Senate staffers? Back in the shadows, whispering sweet nothings to each other over coffee and compromise. ☕✨
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2026-01-15 08:38