In what could only be described as a move worthy of a Bond villain’s ledger, BitMine Immersion Technologies (NYSE AMERICAN: BMNR) has sneakily acquired a staggering 40,302 ETH last week, solidifying its place as the most flamboyant Ethereum hoarder in the corporate world. Apparently, they’ve decided that owning 3.52% of the entire Ethereum universe is the new black.
This audacious purchase marks a significant milestone in the relentless march towards claiming 5% of the total supply for themselves, presumably to impress investors or perhaps to finally buy that island in the Caribbean. With 4,243,338 ETH valued at a cool $12.05 billion, they’re now the undisputed kings of Ethereum treasury, right after the likes of obscure hedge funds and overly ambitious startups.
The company’s total stash, including a modest $12.8 billion in crypto and cash-because why not spend billions like you’re playing Monopoly-also features 193 Bitcoin, worth a hefty $88,080 each, plus a smattering of investments in the digital Wild West, such as a $200 million stake in Beast Industries apparently run by none other than MrBeast himself, and a modest $19 million in Eightco Holdings, which most of us had thought went bust in 2021.
🧵 BitMine’s latest ridiculous yet somehow impressive holdings update as of January 26, 2026:
– $12.8B total crypto and moonshots, including:
- 4,243,338 ETH at $2,839 (~@coinbase)
- 193 Bitcoin (BTC)
- $200M in Beast Industries, because why not?
- $19M in Eightco Holdings-look out, NASDAQ!
– @BitMNR on Twitter, January 26, 2026
Global Gush and Grand Plans: Davos Gets a Dose of Digital Dreaming
Meanwhile, the company’s press release was filled with the kind of glowing endorsement that makes you wonder if they’ve been trading notes with Hollywood scriptwriters. Mentions from Donald Trump and Larry Fink, CEO of BlackRock, praising Ethereum’s resilience and popularity during the World Economic Forum in Davos-because nothing says economic wisdom like a billionaires’ party with blockchain talk. Lee, presumably the company’s CEO, assured everyone that “Ethereum remains the most widely used by Wall Street today and most reliable blockchain with zero downtime since inception”-a statement that might make even the most cynical dabblers nod in admiration.
Their shareholder’s January approval to increase shares support signals more treasury expansion, which surely means more crypto acquisitions and less sleep for the management team.
Not stopping there, their staking portfolio boasts 2,009,267 ETH worth about $5.7 billion, churning out roughly $374 million a year-because sitting on piles of digital gold is apparently more fun than a day at the office. Plans are afoot to launch the Made in America Validator Network (MAVAN) in the first quarter of 2026, ensuring that patriotism and profits go hand in hand.
Stock’s Tepid Swing Amid Hustle and Bustle
NYSE’s darling, BMNR, traded modestly at $28.63 on January 26, wandering between $27.60 and $28.74, with a staggering 44 million shares exchanged-probably just enough to fog up the trading screens. Despite all this digital hullabaloo, the stock remains a quiet 91st in the US trading charts, demonstrating that high volume does not always translate into soaring gains-much like trying to find good reception during a thunderstorm.
The corporate Ethereum binge continues, with Hong Kong’s Trend Research snagging 41,500 ETH for around $126 million via decentralized borrowing from Aave-because traditional sales are sooo last century. BitMine’s relentless striding toward their goal of near-absolute Ethereum dominance makes the crypto world look like a game of Monopoly, only with more zeros.
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2026-01-27 01:49