So, Bitcoin’s on a break, like a vacay from pretending to be a good investment. But hey, the grand scheme whispers that it’s still playing the long game-how reassuring, unless you actually believe in long-term plans.
Price action? Nah, it’s just politely stepping back to ask, “Can I have more space?” before the next move. Nothing to see here, folks. Just another higher-timeframe setup that history assures goes-to-11. If you had $1 to bet against that, congrats, you’re out $1.
Wealth Redistribution or Just Poor Real Estate?
Short-term sellers? They’re just the flaky friends bailing because they can’t handle the crypto emo phase. Meanwhile, the big whales are repositioning, probably in a yacht, with a chart on the wall saying, “Poop there.” It’s all about transitioning from hosting a party to cleaning it up the next morning. Volatility? Yeah, that’ll be fun once the cleaning crew finishes.
On-chain data? It’s basically Bitcoin’s midlife crisis. Profitability’s down, and 75% to 66.9%-sounds like the percentage of your savings you’ll regret investing in. That 69.1% threshold? If Bitcoin can’t stabilize there, maybe it’ll just join a support group like… the other 34%.
When holders are underwater, it’s like your ex blocking you. No incentive to sell now, unless you’re that one guy who keeps flooding the market despite being in the red. I respect the hustle, even if the math doesn’t.
Want more token insights? Sure, if you want your brain frazzled by crypto. Sign up here, but read the fine print-it probably mentions “hype” and “risk of regret.”
Hitting that lower profit band is like hitting snooze-makes everyone feel reset. But let’s be real, this phase was just Bitcoin’s way of whispering, “Too many people watched me peak.” Now it’s back to basics, mostly because it ran out of synonyms for “growth.”
Long-term holders? They’re watching LTH NUPL like it’s their kid on the first date: “When does the chaos stop?” Below 0.60? That’s the cue for them to lounge like it’s brunch, wait for the market to pass out, and swoop in later. Classic moves, if you can call buying after a crash “classic.”
When LTH NUPL drops, it’s like the whales shrug and say, “Nope, we’re done for the day.” And sure enough, prices recover because the last thing crypto needs is more short-term attention-oh wait, it does. Anyway.
BTC’s Ambitious New Year’s Resolution
Technically, Bitcoin’s stuck in an ascending wedge that looks like a really expensive necktie. It just bounced from the lower line and is now flirting with $88,475. Bulls need to tackle $89,241? Easy-peasy, if you ignore the 2009-era graphics and the fact that $90k feels like a bluff.
A breakout past $90k would be as rare as a crypto bull market that doesn’t end in a bear. Then, aiming for $98k is the plan-after a healthy bounce back to $95k. Because nothing says “commitment” like playing keep-away with $100k.
But if the bears regain control? Get ready for a plunge below $87,210. And if that happens, $84,698 isn’t the end-it’s just the market saying, “Sorry, we’re not done being awkward.” Breakout? Breakdown? It’s all just one big crypto therapy session.
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2026-01-27 10:22