Elon Musk Just Declared War on Fiat Currency—And Started a Party for Bitcoin 😂🚀

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In a development that will make history books sigh with mild exasperation, billionaire inventor (regular hobby: sending cars into space for a giggle) Elon Musk has confirmed that his inevitably meme-worthy America Party will indeed adopt Bitcoin (BTC) as its spiritual currency—and possibly as lunch money, too. 🚀🪙

This grave and earth-shattering announcement appeared on X (formerly known as Twitter, currently known as a place your parents don’t understand), during a digital Q&A so casual it made most press conferences look like dinner with the Queen.

America Party: Now Accepting Bitcoin (And Possibly Intergalactic Credits)

Besides pledging fealty to Bitcoin, Musk took a cheerful swipe at traditional currency, labelling fiat as ‘hopeless’—presumably after reviewing the global economy and deciding it needed a firmware update.

Fiat is hopeless, so yes

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 7, 2025

Musk’s endorsement catapulted obsessive crypto enthusiasts into a state of euphoria not seen since someone paid for a pizza with 10,000 BTC in 2010.

“That’s a huge signal. One of the most powerful voices backing BTC on a political level now,” Cas Abbé wrote, foreseeing a future where campaign donations come with blockchain confirmations and possibly emojis.

If you’re wondering whether Elon just discovered Bitcoin yesterday—fear not. The man has been hoarding it like a dragon with a PayPal account. Tesla reportedly clings to 11,509 BTC with SpaceX pocketing 8,285 more, proving once and for all that rockets aren’t the only things they’re hoping will go to the moon.

All this drama took off right after Musk’s falling-out with President Donald Trump over the now-infamous ‘big beautiful bill’—a legislative saga so convoluted it might require its own Netflix series. The spat sent crypto prices tumbling with all the grace of a beached whale, causing a cool $1 billion in liquidations. (No whales were harmed, except the metaphorical ones.)

Short-lived peace soon gave way to more digital saber-rattling. Musk, never one to hold a grudge quietly, rekindled the feud by calling for an entirely new political party—because apparently governing the planet with only two main parties is a “hold my beer” sort of challenge for him.

Now, before you go running off to update your voter registration, remember: forming a new US party is like trying to convince a cat to learn calculus. America’s political system is tightly gripped by two parties, with the Libertarians and Greens politely watching from a nearby park bench, occasionally offering snacks.

Musk’s master plan doesn’t necessarily revolve around the presidency (for now). Instead, he’s aiming at House districts and Senate seats, hoping to sneak in political influence through the legislative back door. (“It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!”—probably)

“He’s polling millions on X, has an existing PAC, and could crowdsource signatures quickly and easily. If he pulls it off, it could be the biggest disruption to US politics in recent memory and the beginning of a new third-party era,” IBC Group founder Mario Nawfal posted, possibly while clutching his towel nervously.

Not everyone is convinced by Musk’s master plan. President Trump, never one to leave a hyperbole unused, declared the move ‘ridiculous’ and accused Musk of becoming a ‘train wreck’—although, to be fair, trains at least run on rails most of the time.

“I am saddened to watch Elon Musk go completely ‘off the rails,’ essentially becoming a TRAIN WRECK over the past five weeks. He even wants to start a Third Political Party, despite the fact that they have never succeeded in the United States – The System seems not designed for them. The one thing Third Parties are good for is the creation of Complete and Total DISRUPTION & CHAOS, and we have enough of that with the Radical Left Democrats, who have lost their confidence and their minds!” the President said, probably while wrestling his phone away from an over-enthusiastic intern.

The America Party, as of press time, is yet to file its paperwork with the US Federal Election Commission—undoubtedly bogged down in paperwork and an existential argument about whether campaign promises should be stored on blockchain.

Despite the bureaucracy, famous rich people Anthony Scaramucci (never seen without sunglasses indoors) and Mark Cuban (never seen out of the Shark Tank) have voiced enthusiastic support. What could possibly go wrong? 🦈📝

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2025-07-07 10:14