If there’s one thing you learn from living with my family, it’s never trust a financial tip from someone who wears a tie to Thanksgiving. But, as it turns out, the hottest investment this season might involve flightless birds with cartoon eyes, so what do I know?
Ali Martinez, a crypto trader followed by more people than I’ve met (or avoided meeting), just told his 139,600 X followers that Pudgy Penguin (PENGU)—yes, an NFT project named after the tuxedoed tap dancer of the arctic—is apparently poised to turn your sarcasm into quadrupled returns by August. You know, just after everyone forgets their New Year’s resolutions, but before your Aunt Sharon’s next “detox” phase kicks in.
“Slap yourself if you are sleeping on PENGU. This is a textbook bullish retest. $0.060 by August is just the start. Once the ETF gets approved, who knows how far this can go.”
In case you’re wondering, PENGU is already up 31.4% in the last 24 hours, currently trading at $0.019, which means if you bought enough of it you could, theoretically, afford a sandwich in New York (without avocado, let’s not get crazy). Martinez thinks we’ll hit $0.060 by August, a gain of 216%. Yes, you read that right—either PENGU is going to the moon, or we’re all starring in a cruel arctic puppet show run by digital birds.
But wait, there’s more: Martinez also has thoughts about Dogecoin, the glorified meme with a Shiba Inu that my nephew swore would pay for his first car. Every time DOGE “forms a pattern,” Martinez claims, the price rises. As patterns go, Dogecoin’s favorite is apparently sitting around in a “parallel channel,” which sounds a lot like my approach to gym memberships.
“Every time Dogecoin forms this pattern, price takes off. Right now, Dogecoin is sitting at the bottom of a parallel channel. A buying spike here could send Dogecoin to $0.20 and maybe even $0.25.”
DOGE is currently trading at $0.179, up 4%, which means if you own enough of it, you can almost buy a coffee—regular drip, hold the fancy syrup.
And last but not least, Martinez wraps up with Solana. Apparently, if you squint at the charts (or have had enough wine), you’ll see a “symmetrical triangle” and an impending 8% jump. If SOL closes above $153, Martinez says it could rocket past $164. Right now it’s trading at $156, a 1.6% gain—probably enough to tip your Uber driver for pretending he didn’t hear you say “crypto.”
“Solana is forming a symmetrical triangle, and an 8% move could be next. A close above $153 could send Solana above $164.”
If you’re looking for a sign from the universe to turn cartoon penguins, meme dogs, and mysterious triangles into a fortune, this might be it. Or maybe it’s another sign you should call your mother. Either way, strap in and bring snacks 🐧🚀.
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2025-07-10 23:07