Is Dan Ives a Time Traveler? $5 Trillion Predictions that Will Make You Laugh! 😂

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Ah, Dan Ives, the oracle of our age, the soothsayer of Wall Street! He proclaims that Microsoft and Nvidia shall soon join the celestial ranks of companies with market caps soaring to the $5 trillion milestone. Picture it: two tech titans, fluttering like immense robotic butterflies above the vast vistas of investment joy.

In a spirited tête-à-tête on the illustrious CNBC Television, our dear investor waxed poetic about this gilded future as artificial intelligence prances about, wearing its fanciest attire. Is it not amusing? Just when we thought we had grasped the usage of AI, it decides to explode with flourish, much like a poorly made firework on New Year’s.

“Behold! The uses of AI are blossoming like the wildflowers in spring!” he exclaimed, alluding grandly to the likes of dear old Microsoft, arm-in-arm with the ever-diligent CEO Satya Nadella. Not content to stop at $4 trillion, Dan has visions of $5 trillion dancing in his head over the next 18 months. Who needs prophecies from the village seer when we have Dan?

The current state of affairs finds Microsoft with a modest market cap of $3.8 trillion, trading at a measly $511 per share. Meanwhile, Nvidia, the less bashful sibling, is frolicking at $173 per share with a tidy market cap of $4.2 trillion. Truly, a family gathering for the ages!

But wait, there is more! Ives, with a twinkle of mischief in his eye, asserts that software companies will soon experience breakouts worth quacking about! Like a flock of excited ducks, getting all ruffled at the thought of new growth.

“Software has underperformed,” he chuckled, probably imagining a sad little software package in the corner. Yet, fear not! Palantir leads the charge in this great AI revolution, dragging along MongoDB, Snowflake, and even the venerable IBM, which, it seems, is having a delightful renaissance. One can only assume they are sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere, feeling quite triumphant.

At present, our dear Palantir prances at $153 per share, with MongoDB following closely at $218. Snowflake asserts its presence at $211, while IBM, in a fittingly dignified manner, trades at $282 per share, as if to say, “Look at me, I’m still relevant!”

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2025-07-18 10:22