Crypto Firm Plots Secret Takeover of Wall Street! 😱

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Right then, listen up! This BitGo lot – a bunch of digital asset hoarders, you see – have gone and filed some tremendously mysterious paperwork with the SEC. An IPO, they call it. Sounds frightfully important, doesn’t it? Basically, they want a slice of the real money, the proper financial markets. The cheek of it! 🙄

They’ve done it all *secretly*, mind you. A “confidentially submitted draft registration statement on Form S-1”. Honestly, the names these people come up with! It means they want to sell shares, but they haven’t decided how many or for how much. They’re still figuring it out, like children with building blocks. Utterly chaotic!

As of right now, this top-secret document hasn’t even popped up on the SEC’s EDGAR database. Probably hidden under a pile of boring reports. Good riddance!

Now, these BitGo chaps claim to be rather good at looking after other people’s crypto. They’ve got over 100 BILLION dollars’ worth tucked away, which is a truly enormous number. It’s gone up by a whopping 40 billion this year alone. Makes you wonder what they’re doing with all that loot…probably buying solid gold bathtubs. 🛁

They’re also trying to wiggle their way into Europe, having gotten the nod from something called MiCA (Markets in Crypto-Assets…sounds like a villain from a James Bond film). They’re spreading like a particularly unpleasant rash! 🦠

And it doesn’t stop there! They fancy becoming a proper bank in the US too. Imagine! Crypto overlords running the banks. The world is going topsy-turvy, I tell you!

BitGo Wants to Play with the Big Boys

So, BitGo wants to join the gang of publicly traded crypto companies. Apparently, there are 46 of them already. Forty-six! Most are on something called Nasdaq (sounds like a type of biscuit), and a few are lurking on other exchanges. Honestly, it’s all terribly complicated.

Other crypto firms are doing the same. Bullish, another bunch of exchange whizzes, are trying to list on the New York Stock Exchange. And Grayscale, who manage crypto assets, are also poking their noses in. It’s a proper scramble for the money, it is!💰

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2025-07-21 18:32