Ethereum’s Wild Ride: Whales Feast on Overleveraged Fools 🐳💸

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TL;DR (or as I like to call it, “Too Long; Didn’t Read, But Here’s the Gist”)

  • Ethereum‘s taking a tumble near $3,600, and a bunch of overconfident traders are sweating bullets like a sinner in church.
  • BlackRock’s ETF is stuffing ETH like a Thanksgiving turkey, while Devnet-3 is coming faster than a politician’s broken promise.
  • Analysts claim $4,000 is the last stop before Ethereum moons to $13K-$17K, but then again, these are the same folks who said my pet rock was a bad investment.

ETH Takes a Dive After Acting All High and Mighty

Ethereum, that fickle friend who borrows your lawnmower and returns it with an empty gas tank, slipped below $3,700 after strutting around at $3,850 like it owned the place. At press time, it was loitering around $3,650, looking shifty-eyed and guilty.

Trading volume’s higher than a kite at a Grateful Dead concert—$53 billion in 24 hours! Price dropped 2%, but ETH’s still up 24% this week, proving that crypto moves faster than gossip in a small town.

Now, all the smarty-pants traders are watching leveraged positions between $3,600-$3,700 like vultures circling a wounded buffalo. Some fella named CW says ETH’s in “high leverage long position accumulation area,” which sounds fancy but really means “a whole lotta folks are about to learn a painful lesson.”

$ETH is falling faster than my New Year’s resolutions. Needs to hit $3600 to liquidate those cocky longs.

Whales ain’t about to let the little guys win—this ain’t a charity bingo night.

— CW (@CW8900) July 22, 2025

Lookonchain (bless their nosy hearts) reports that trader AguilaTrades—who recently switched from short to long like a weathervane in a tornado—is down $3 million. His liquidation point is $3,654.77, and ETH’s dancing just above it like a drunk tightrope walker.

BlackRock’s Buying Spree & Devs Doing… Whatever Devs Do

BlackRock’s ETF gobbled up 27,000 ETH ($100M) faster than a kid in a candy store with daddy’s credit card. Ethereum also led last week’s inflows with $2.12 billion, setting a record higher than my last bar tab.

The Ethereum team’s prepping for the “Fusaka upgrade” (sounds like a bad sushi roll), coming in November to make the network “faster and more efficient”—which is what they said about the last 17 upgrades.

Two days after Fusaka, they’re launching Devnet-3, because why fix one thing when you can have three broken testnets? Meanwhile, devs are already working on “Glamsterdam,” which I’m pretty sure is either a crypto upgrade or a Eurovision act.

$4,000: The Final Boss Level (Until It’s Not)

Ethereum’s eyeing $4,000 like a dieter eyes a donut—this was its 2021 peak, back when people still believed in NFTs and common sense.

Analyst BitBull claims this is the “final barrier” before liftoff, but let’s be real—in crypto, every barrier is final until the next one. Past cycles suggest ETH could rocket to $13K-$17K after breaking resistance, which is either brilliant analysis or wishful thinking dressed up in a suit.

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2025-07-22 13:19