In a moment of economic alchemy that would make a Victorian parson blush, Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX, has declared that Bitcoin will “soar” to $250,000 and Ethereum to $10,000 by 2025. A 111% gain for Bitcoin? Pfft. Trivial. A 179% surge for Ethereum? Why not—let’s all throw our pensions into a digital goldfish bowl and call it progress! Hayes, ever the optimist, attributes this grand leap to the “growing institutional adoption” of Ethereum and DeFi, where his Maelstrom Fund (naturally nautical-themed) stakes its chips. One might wonder if these institutions are simply bureaucrats with a taste for chaos, but Hayes remains “confident,” even as the market dips like a toddler on a pogo stick. After all, what is a 10% dip but a brief interlude in the grand opera of speculation? 🎭💸
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2025-07-24 15:51