Crypto for the Rich

So, it turns out the Central Bank of Russia is like that one aunt who only lets you have a little bit of candy. 🍭 Olga Shishlyannikova, a senior official, said they’re open to talking about letting elite investors play with crypto funds. Because, you know, the 1% need more ways to get richer. 💸

The CBR used to be super strict, but now they’re like, “Hey, qualified investors can play with crypto derivatives, but don’t even think about it, regular people!” 🚫 It’s like they’re trying to create a crypto oligarchy or something. Shishlyannikova said any changes would require regulatory amendments, because of course they do. 🙄 That’ll happen in 2026, because who needs crypto regulation now, right? 🕰️

Russia’s crypto futures market had $16 million in inflows in June, but the central bank is still like, “Meh, we don’t think people really care.” 🤔 Yeah, because $16 million is, like, nothing. 💸 Meanwhile, they’re rolling out a digital ruble and a national QR code system for payments. Because who needs cash when you can have a fancy QR code? 📊 Oh, and if you try to use crypto for domestic purchases, you’ll get fined. Because, you know, freedom. 🚫

Crypto for the Rich

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2025-07-25 11:33