Peter Thiel’s Playground: Crypto IPO to Shake the US Markets and Make Wall Street Smile 🤡🚀

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Well now, folks, here’s a story about Bullish, a shiny new crypto exchange backed by the ever-wealthy Peter Thiel, tossing its hat into the ring with dreams of a $600 million IPO in the good ol’ US of A. That’s right-big bucks, bigger ambitions, and enough bravado to make a Wall Street wolf whistle. If you’re into high-stakes poker with virtual chips, grab a seat, ‘cause this game’s just warming up. 🎲💰

This sprightly move comes as a sort of regulatory disco-thanks to President Trump’s pro-crypto dance, the U.S. is setting the stage to turn crypto into America’s new blockbuster. The GENIUS Act, which sounds like something out of a superhero comic, is helping to make the U.S. the shiny new crypto hub, because who doesn’t love a good comeback story? And yes, copy editors, I see the irony. 🤷‍♂️

Stablecoin Shenanigans and Wall Street Dreams

In its latest filing, Bullish declares it plans to squeeze out about $629.3 million by offering around 20.3 million shares-all at the bargain basement price of $28 to $31 a pop. This isn’t the first rodeo; they tried to go public back in 2021 with a fancy merger, only to be shut down by regulators, like a bad meatloaf at grandma’s house. Now, they’re trying again, with a whiff of hope and a dash of desperation. 💸

Reuters whispers that if they snag the top price, they’ll still be trading at over 52% below their original $9 billion dream, which is about as encouraging as a dentist’s visit. Matt Kennedy from Renaissance Capital suggests that bankers prefer to start low and watch the market dance upwards-kind of like yard sale pricing but for billion-dollar dreams. 🤑

Oh, and by the way, their brilliant plan includes converting a big chunk of IPO cash into US dollar-pegged stablecoins-because nothing says “trust us” like tying digital assets to Uncle Sam’s greenbacks. With the success of Circle Internet trading over 400% above its IPO price, who wouldn’t want a slice of that digital pie? 🥧💵

The Drama Behind the Screens: Losses and Aspirations

Now here’s the punchline: amid all the chatter and hype, Bullish is reporting a hefty loss of $349 million for the first quarter-yep, you read that right. That’s a lot of zeros for a company that dreams of the NASDAQ sky. Meanwhile, its head honcho, Thomas Farley-former NYSE president-walks the line between bold and downright reckless, with a side order of ambition. 🏦🔥

And let’s not forget, they own CoinDesk-because what’s a crypto empire without a news outlet that can keep the hype alive? This whole circus is under the watchful eyes of big players like JPMorgan, Jefferies, and Citigroup, who are all lining up to underwrite this digital skydiving act. 🎪

Just a quick note for the crowd-galaxy digital, Gemini, and others are already making waves, turning heads faster than a meme stock on a hot streak. As they say in crypto-land, it’s a wild, wild west out there. 🚀🤠

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2025-08-05 09:43