Bitcoin’s Taking a Nap-And It’s Annoying Me

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So Bitcoin‘s just sitting there like a bump on a log 🪵… Josh Whats-his-name gets up there on his “Macro Monday” stream – Macro Monday, really? That’s the best name we can come up with? – and tells us what we already know: August and September are basically Bitcoins’s vacation months. “Giant nothing burger,” he says. Nothing burger – that’s cute terminology for “my portfolio’s tanking and I’m trying to sound smart about it.”

Is This Bitcoin Bull Run Bull$#!%?

978 days into this thing, and now people are asking if it’s over? C’mon! Of course it’s not over – it’s just resting comfortably in its ego after that whole spot ETF drama. Josh’s all like “probably not over yet, could continue” – well THANKS for that bold prediction, Nostradamus!🙄

The “technicals still look fine” he says. Fine?! That’s what you say about mediocre sushi 🍣, not about your life savings in an imaginary internet money! And what’s with this whole “parabolic advance” nonsense – can’t we just say it might go up again?

Now he’s doubting we’ll get back to $120k anytime soon. Oh really? Gee, what tipped you off – the fact that we’re losing money faster than my ex wife’s alimony payments?

The Q4 Hail Mary

The whole analysis boils down to: “Maybe Q4 will save us… or we’re screwed.” Deep stuff, Josh. Really profound. And now he’s warning about leverage like a Jewish mother warns about catching cold. “50X leverage is dangerous!” No kidding – neither is juggling chainsaws, but at least that’s entertaining to watch!

And don’t get me started on these macro factors – tariffs, labor statistics, GDPNow predictions… it’s enough to make your eyes glaze over like a Thanksgiving turkey 🦃. Just tell me one thing: am I getting rich or should I start looking for a real job?

The punchline? “The cycle’s probably not over-it’s just sleeping.” Sleeping?! More like Comatose! And Q4 better bring some strong coffee if it’s going to wake this beast up.

Current price: $113,041… which let’s be honest, nobody actually believes is real money anyway.

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2025-08-06 05:12