🤑 Bitcoin or Bust? Kiyosaki’s Wild Ride to Riches! 🌪️

Pray tell, dear reader, have you heard the latest pronouncement from Mr. Robert Kiyosaki, the esteemed author of “Rich Dad Poor Dad”? 🧐 This gentleman, whose wisdom is as boundless as his predictions are dire, has once again taken to his quill-or rather, his Twitter-to foretell a Great Depression of such magnitude that only the most astute (and, presumably, Bitcoin-hoarding) among us shall emerge unscathed. 😱

According to this modern-day Cassandra, traditional markets are but a house of cards, and financial planners-those purveyors of false security-are leading their clients to the brink of ruin. “Bonds are safe,” they declare, with all the sincerity of a debutante feigning interest in her suitor’s hunting tales. Nonsense, says Mr. Kiyosaki! There is no safety in a market crash, only the cold, hard truth of Bitcoin’s resilience. 💎

The Coming Tempest: Only Bitcoiners Shall Weather the Storm

In a tweet that might as well have been etched in stone, Mr. Kiyosaki accuses financial advisors of deceit, claiming that bonds are as reliable as a gossip’s promise of discretion. The commercial real estate market, he declares, is crumbling like a poorly baked scone, and Moody’s has downgraded US bonds faster than a society matron dismisses an unsuitable match. Meanwhile, Asian investors are amassing gold as though it were the last slice of trifle at a ball, while bonds languish, unwanted and unloved. 🥴

Our intrepid financier confesses to hoarding Bitcoin, silver, gold, oil, and even cattle-a veritable Noah’s Ark of assets-in preparation for the impending economic deluge. “Richer I shall become,” he proclaims, with the confidence of a gentleman who has secured the best seat at the opera. 🎩

Financial Planners lie when they say “Bonds are safe.” There is nothing safe in a market crash.

The commercial real estate market is crashing.

Moodys down graded US bonds.

Asians buying gold.

No one is showing up to buy bonds.

I’ve been buying real gold, silver, and… 🌟

– Robert Kiyosaki (@theRealKiyosaki) August 7, 2025

Stockholders and bondholders, he warns, shall find their investments as fleeting as a summer romance. Only Bitcoin holders, those enlightened souls, shall navigate the tempest with their fortunes intact. 🌪️

Trump’s Bold Decree: Bitcoin in 401(k)s, Oh My!

In a twist that would delight even the most jaded novelist, Mr. Kiyosaki has praised President Trump for permitting Bitcoin in 401(k) retirement accounts. “A splendid idea!” he exclaims, as though Bitcoin were the latest fashion from Paris. However, Bloomberg’s ETF expert, Mr. Eric Balchunas, pours cold water on this enthusiasm, suggesting that fund managers-those creatures of habit-are unlikely to embrace Bitcoin without a proper education. After all, one cannot expect a gentleman to dance the waltz without first learning the steps. 💃

In the meantime, Bitcoin has surged by nearly 3%, reaching the dizzying heights of $117,000, only to retreat slightly, like a flirtatious suitor playing hard to get. At present, it trades at $116,860 per coin, leaving us all to wonder: is this the beginning of Mr. Kiyosaki’s prophesied triumph, or merely a fleeting fancy? 🧐

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2025-08-08 11:40