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Ah, the melodrama intensified in the year of our Lord 2022, when JPMorgan, with great fanfare, secured a 48.5% stake in the illustrious Viva. Meanwhile, were they not aware that Werealize, a company owned by the indomitable Haris Karonis, held the remaining 51.49%? Ah, the intricacies of ownership in the land of finance are akin to navigating a labyrinth blindfolded and on roller skates.

According to them fancy on-chain snoops at Whale Alert, a whopping 180,000,000 DOGE—that’s right, enough to buy a small country’s worth of pizza—was yanked out of Robinhood faster than a cat dodgin’ a bath. The haul? A cool $49,997,419. Now, I ain’t no mathematician, but that’s a heap of digital dough.

Trump Media, custodian of the illustrious Truth Social platform, now boasts the third-largest corporate Bitcoin stash in America. A noble feat, trailing only MicroStrategy (with $63 billion—because who doesn’t want to outspend a tech titan?) and MARA Holdings ($5 billion). Truly, a testament to the art of the deal. 🏆

Crypto cons are multiplying like rabbits in a warren, and the bigwigs—those self-proclaimed guardians of the web—seem content to twiddle their thumbs. On that fateful Monday, July 21, 2025, our unfortunate hero signed away their Uniswap NFTs in a moment of folly, thanks to a phishing pitfall. And don’t get me started on how these deceptions infest Google Ads like weeds in a neglected garden. 😏

Given that 2.8 years of devotion out of a mere 5-year existence is, if nothing else, a testament to some extreme patience—or perhaps sheer stubbornness—this suggests a demographic shift amongst the SHIB fraternity. Rather than just a motley crew of day traders chasing fleeting fortunes, it appears we are witnessing the evolving of a committed tribe displaying admirable long-term conviction. How quaint! 🧐

They’ve done it all *secretly*, mind you. A “confidentially submitted draft registration statement on Form S-1”. Honestly, the names these people come up with! It means they want to sell shares, but they haven’t decided how many or for how much. They’re still figuring it out, like children with building blocks. Utterly chaotic!

And now, to add fuel to the fire of anxious deliberation, we are presented with intelligence concerning the movements of certain…substantial holders of Bitcoin. It appears these ‘whales’, as they are so charmingly termed, have been transferring vast quantities of their holdings to the exchanges—a disconcerting increase of nearly seventeen billion pounds in but four days! Such activity, one recalls, often precedes either a flurry of profit-taking or, heavens forbid, a period of unsettling volatility. 💸

With over $71B of Bitcoin now on the books and $MSTR stock soaring over 3,500% in just five years (yes, you read that right), Strategy’s bet is looking pretty smart. Who needs luck when you’ve got numbers doing all the talking? Now, with those numbers, the company’s eyeing the ultimate prize – a seat at the S&P 500 table. 😎

After breaking through the velvet ropes at the resistance levels of $2.40 and $2.80, XRP erupted toward the $3.50 threshold, giving birth to a veritable parade of high-volume candles that could rival a birthday cake on a sugar high. 🎉 But lo and behold, while the price holds firm as a bedrock, a nasty little critical divergence has begun to form, lurking beneath the surface like an unwelcome surprise guest at a dinner party. And what’s this? Trading volume has been declining steadily since everything peaked—like a soufflé that just couldn’t hold its shape!

Saylor and his merry band at Strategy, who seem to have more bitcoins than a pirate’s treasure chest, added yet another shiny coin to their collection this week. On Sunday, the Strategy founder, ever the tease, hinted at a new purchase while the company was already sitting pretty on about 601,550 BTC. “Strategy has acquired 6,220 BTC for ~$739.8 million at ~$118,940 per bitcoin and has achieved a BTC Yield of 20.8% YTD 2025,” Saylor announced to the world on X. “As of 7/20/2025, we hodl 607,770 BTC acquired for ~$43.61 billion at ~$71,756 per bitcoin.”