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Ali Martinez, a crypto trader followed by more people than I’ve met (or avoided meeting), just told his 139,600 X followers that Pudgy Penguin (PENGU)—yes, an NFT project named after the tuxedoed tap dancer of the arctic—is apparently poised to turn your sarcasm into quadrupled returns by August. You know, just after everyone forgets their New Year’s resolutions, but before your Aunt Sharon’s next “detox” phase kicks in.

Now, let’s talk about the real star of the show: Solana. Bit Mining plans to raise between $200 million and $300 million to acquire SOL, and will convert its existing digital asset holdings into Solana. The company is positioning itself for emerging opportunities across the broader blockchain industry, and we can’t help but wonder if they’re onto something.

This here coin doesn’t just behave; it stampedes. The daily trading volume barreled up more than 50 percent, a staggering $66 billion swirling around like dust in a dry windstorm. And as always, the markets picked their bones clean—over $325 million in leveraged BTC bodies hauled off to the rookery in the last 24 hours. Cheers to volatility! 🍻

Behold! A most esteemed crypto analyst hath shared with us a 4-hour chart of WIF/USDT, wherein we see the token, freed from its downtrend, doth assume a more neutral stance, with whispers of a potential reversal. The most recent higher low, a beacon of hope, doth set the stage for a grand ascent toward a higher high, signaling that the bearish pressure, that great nemesis of the bulls, doth weaken. 📈

Mr. Nicolas Kokkalis, esteemed Head of Technology (and, one presumes, a gentleman of considerable means in technical matters), has announced—with no small amount of pride—that network setup is now as simple as an invitation to a ball, if not less fraught with social risk. Auto-updates shall arrive gradually, as one’s friends do during an unexpected rain shower, but for the impatient, the latest version awaits on that vast promenade known as GitHub.

It all began on July 4, when the company announced that it’s taking steps to list its token on cryptocurrency exchanges. A bold move, indeed! And, as you’d expect, the secondary market trading has already started on platforms like Whales.market and MEXC. The token’s price? A whopping $0.13 to $0.18! 💸 Not bad, considering its initial sale prices were $1.5 and $0.5. Hmm… something smells fishy 🐟.

“Infrastructure is solidifying, experimentation is scaling, and new use cases are gaining traction,” proclaimed Chris Kuiper, the Vice President of Research at Fidelity’s crypto arm, in a statement that could have been lifted straight from a Victorian novel. 📜

On the illustrious date of Thursday, June 10, the Cardano Foundation unveiled a report detailing its 2024 expenditures. According to this document, which one might charitably describe as a financial epic, the Foundation spent $15 million on adoption. This sum, it seems, was intended to elevate ADA to the lofty heights of cryptocurrency stardom, with flashy deals like the one with Barcelona FC adding a touch of glamour to the proceedings. 🏆

In a tweet posted by Bitcoin historian Pete Rizzo and accompanied by a video clip, Scaramucci draws parallels to Manhattan’s historic land sale, notably from 1690, implying that Bitcoin remains undervalued despite reaching six figures.