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Investors, those fickle fairies of finance, have decided to pack their wands and fly away. Tuesday’s ETF flows in the US were as cheerful as a dentist’s waiting room. The first business day of the week? More like the first day of the apocalypse for Ripple ETFs. Oh, the drama!
Seven days have seen BTC lose 10% of its dignity, now clinging to support levels like a drunkard to a lamppost. Yet, in the grand theater of finance, it remains trapped within a two-month channel, squirming like a worm in a philosopher’s riddle.
In her eloquent whispers (likely through a gold-plated megaphone), Long prophesies 2026 as the year when crypto, that most erratic of dance partners, executes its final pirouette into the rigid waltz of mature finance.
“As we scale our validator operations, Tezos stands out for its governance model, technical maturity, and reliability,” Mat Cybula, CEO of TenX Protocols, stated. “Or, as the rest of us would say, ‘It’s not a scam, I swear.’
“Our focus is simple: back strong technical founders who are solving real problems and building businesses with durable fundamentals,” Jason Li, Co-Founder of Solayer, stated, likely while peeking over his glasses and rolling his eyes at all the ‘quick fixes’ out there.
In a recent discourse, delivered with great pomp upon the Master Investor Podcast, Lee, the chairman of the ethereum treasury company Bitmine Immersion Technologies, doth address the lamentable performance of crypto in the year 2025. “Alas,” quoth he, “the bulls were left to weep, for the markets did not yield as promised.”
In a stunning display of gravity-defying antics, Bitcoin has failed to maintain its noble stance above the $92,500 support. Instead, it has embarked upon a fresh decline, plummeting past the $91,000 and $90,500 levels with all the grace of a three-legged dog on ice.
In a post on X (because why not?), Cryptollica claims the DOGE/NVIDIA chart is back in some “long-term support zone,” which apparently means Dogecoin is about to outperform Nvidia like it’s 2017 all over again. “THE SIGNAL IS BACK. IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN (2017… 2021… NOW),” they wrote. Because, you know, history repeats itself-especially in the world of meme coins and overpriced AI stocks.
According to the wise wizards at Arab Chain, Binance’s crystal ball is flashing red at the start of 2026. Ethereum, now hovering near the $3,200 mark, is like a tightrope walker with a wobbly pole-the Accumulated Order Flow (CVD) indicator is at a precarious -3,676. In simpler terms, the sell orders are outnumbering the buy orders like a swarm of bees chasing a single honey drop. It’s not a collapse, mind you, but it’s also not a standing ovation.
On the tenth of January, 2026, the inimitable Musk proclaimed that the algorithm would be open-sourced within a week. And lo, on the twentieth, the code emerged, as promised, with X’s engineering department declaring, “We open-sourced our new X algorithm.” How quaint! Musk, ever the showman, vowed to update the code every four weeks, complete with developer notes. One can only imagine the footnotes-a veritable Oscar Wilde of coding, no doubt.
