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In a notice issued on Thursday (no doubt a day of great solemnity and import), the Capital Markets Board announced that it had taken legal action against 46 websites, including the aforementioned PancakeSwap and Cryptoradar. The reason, you ask? Why, it’s quite simple, really: these websites were operating in contravention of the country’s Capital Markets Law. One can only assume that the regulator’s sleuths had been working tirelessly to uncover the dastardly plots of these crypto ne’er-do-wells. 🔍

It appears that Ripple Labs has been indulging in a bit of creative license with their escrow releases. Gone are the days of rigid formulas and predictable schedules; instead, the company has adopted a more… let’s say, “flexible” approach. The July cycle, which has just drawn to a close, saw a total of one billion XRP unlocked, with 700 million XRP relocked. Ah, but what’s a few hundred million XRP between friends? 🤑

In a proclamation issued on the third day of July—no less dramatic than a ball in the Governor’s mansion—Chair Monsieur French Hill and his comrade Glenn Thompson declared 14-18 July the illustrious “crypto week.” One can imagine the streamers already (tastefully) hanging in the corridors.

The researcher, no doubt with a cup of tea and a sigh, revealed on Friday that between $30 million and $40 million of the stolen funds was converted to bitcoin, ether, and Tether’s USDT through Latin American over-the-counter desks and crypto exchanges. 🤑

Anyway, in a press release that surely made waves in the crypto seas, Bitrue happily proclaimed on the Fourth of July (yes, that’s right—while we were busy indulging in BBQ and fireworks) that they’ve teamed up with Backed Finance to launch tokenized U.S. stock trading through something they call xStocks. Because what the world really needed was more ways to make investing feel like a video game. 🎮

BNB, that gleaming nugget of the Binance empire, slid downward by a modest 0.28% in the last day. That’s just enough to turn investors’ smiles upside down, but not quite enough to spill their coffee. ☕️

On July 2, the world’s largest crypto exchange by trading volume (a most impressive feat, to be sure!) appointed Lynch as its new Head of Europe and the UK. Her mission, should she choose to accept it, is to oversee regulatory strategy and expansion in one of the most tightly governed digital asset markets. Wish her luck, dear reader! 🤞

One must ponder: what manner of sorceries drive investors to hoard cash and bonds, even as the stocks frolic in the sunny meadows of record highs? In a world that rages towards euphoria, why do the wise counsel caution? Perhaps it is the ever-present specter of reality tugging at their sleeves, whispering tales of caution amidst the clamor for immediate bliss.

Ethereum (ETH) made an elegant lunge above $2,600 (presumably showing off to the neighbours), before flopping down to $2,574, looking sheepish and trying not to make eye contact. Ripple (XRP) is gently declining, while Solana (SOL) is sinking—though in a dignified fashion—hovering about $152 like a dowager duchess at a lacklustre ball. Meanwhile, Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA) are up, managing to swim against the tide with all the pluck of a British bulldog in floaties. Stellar (XLM), Toncoin (TON), Litecoin (LTC), and Polkadot (DOT), however, have taken the express elevator to the basement, presumably for afternoon tea and a bit of quiet sobbing.

Hyperliquid (HYPE) has been on a tear of late, its price action a testament to the unbridled optimism of the bulls. But as the token struggles to break through the $40 psychological resistance, the exhaustion is palpable. The sellers, those wily veterans of the market, remain firmly in control of this zone, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting bulls like a predator in the wild.