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In a proclamation issued on the third day of July—no less dramatic than a ball in the Governor’s mansion—Chair Monsieur French Hill and his comrade Glenn Thompson declared 14-18 July the illustrious “crypto week.” One can imagine the streamers already (tastefully) hanging in the corridors.

The researcher, no doubt with a cup of tea and a sigh, revealed on Friday that between $30 million and $40 million of the stolen funds was converted to bitcoin, ether, and Tether’s USDT through Latin American over-the-counter desks and crypto exchanges. 🤑

Anyway, in a press release that surely made waves in the crypto seas, Bitrue happily proclaimed on the Fourth of July (yes, that’s right—while we were busy indulging in BBQ and fireworks) that they’ve teamed up with Backed Finance to launch tokenized U.S. stock trading through something they call xStocks. Because what the world really needed was more ways to make investing feel like a video game. 🎮

BNB, that gleaming nugget of the Binance empire, slid downward by a modest 0.28% in the last day. That’s just enough to turn investors’ smiles upside down, but not quite enough to spill their coffee. ☕️

On July 2, the world’s largest crypto exchange by trading volume (a most impressive feat, to be sure!) appointed Lynch as its new Head of Europe and the UK. Her mission, should she choose to accept it, is to oversee regulatory strategy and expansion in one of the most tightly governed digital asset markets. Wish her luck, dear reader! 🤞

One must ponder: what manner of sorceries drive investors to hoard cash and bonds, even as the stocks frolic in the sunny meadows of record highs? In a world that rages towards euphoria, why do the wise counsel caution? Perhaps it is the ever-present specter of reality tugging at their sleeves, whispering tales of caution amidst the clamor for immediate bliss.

Ethereum (ETH) made an elegant lunge above $2,600 (presumably showing off to the neighbours), before flopping down to $2,574, looking sheepish and trying not to make eye contact. Ripple (XRP) is gently declining, while Solana (SOL) is sinking—though in a dignified fashion—hovering about $152 like a dowager duchess at a lacklustre ball. Meanwhile, Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA) are up, managing to swim against the tide with all the pluck of a British bulldog in floaties. Stellar (XLM), Toncoin (TON), Litecoin (LTC), and Polkadot (DOT), however, have taken the express elevator to the basement, presumably for afternoon tea and a bit of quiet sobbing.

Hyperliquid (HYPE) has been on a tear of late, its price action a testament to the unbridled optimism of the bulls. But as the token struggles to break through the $40 psychological resistance, the exhaustion is palpable. The sellers, those wily veterans of the market, remain firmly in control of this zone, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting bulls like a predator in the wild.

It appears that these patient souls, who have held onto their precious Bitcoin for at least 155 days, are not so easily swayed by the whims of the market. Nay, they are as steadfast as a mountain, unmoving and unshakeable! 🏔️

The message sparked concerns around transparency but Changpeng Zhao (CZ) was quick to respond.