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Of course, market watchers are embroiled in the usual philosophical divide: Is this a healthy “retracement”—or, as the optimists say, “a little stretch before the next sprint”? Or is it the financial equivalent of trying to glue a broken vase with tears and hope? Analyst Ali Martinez, ever the cheerful harbinger, has announced ONDO is departing the luxury penthouse of its ascending channel, now plummeting rapidly through the metaphorical basement window. When professional chart squigglers say “bearish signal,” they mean “pack an umbrella, it’s going to rain wallets.”

In Capo’s world, Solana currently finds itself bouncing against a resistance so stubborn, you’d think it was built by dwarfs on strike. The last time Solana faced this height? Last month, which in crypto time is basically ancient history or, as some prefer, pre-Lunch.

The missive to the SEC details Bakkt’s intention to issue everything from common stock and preferred stock to sundry debt instruments and warrants—a veritable ball of securities, where no invitation is withheld, and everyone waits for the next quadrille. This “shelf registration,” as it is so cleverly named, provides Bakkt the liberty to court the market’s favor at their convenience, darting in and out according to the financial weather—how very becoming.

In 2025, the use of AI in blockchain transactions has significantly increased by 86%, as reported by DappRadar on Thursday. This increase involves approximately 4.5 million distinct wallets engaging daily with AI-centered decentralized applications (DApps).

Friday, that day of financial judgement, promises to be a veritable circus. According to the ever-persuasive Jean-David Péquignot at Deribit, $40 billion worth of BTC options are up for expiry, 38% of them teetering on the brink, like debutantes at their first disappointing dance. “Max pain” — that most deliciously sadistic phrase — is set at $102,000. And what, pray tell, is the put/call ratio? A dainty 0.73. What does it mean? Certainly everything, and definitely nothing!

This week, Dr. Cat unleashed his summer forecast, which is either an invitation to buy an island or burn your wallet for warmth. “If BTC hits a daily high between June 25-27, but it’s a lower high—a lower low should follow,” he proclaimed, as if reading constellations on a Ouija board. Basically, if Bitcoin doesn’t outshine its mediocre cousin from last week, it might just swan-dive into darkness until you start drinking iced coffee out of a shoe.

Introducing Permissioned DEX on the XRP Ledger: Unlocking Institutional Access to DeFi

Yet in this grand spectacle of progress and panic, people miss Ethereum’s quiet, slow-cooked purpose. Its strategy is not one of instant comfort, but of patient, decentralized invention. You thought progress was a neat affair? Decentralization is what happens when nobody wants to wash the dishes and yet, somehow, dinner still gets made. 🍽️

In his latest fireside pronouncement, the venerable Kevin (known in less exclusive circles as @Kev_Capital_TA) stitched together a tapestry of impressive-sounding technical gibberish, noting that the Shiba Inu’s finest squiggle, having bounced valourously from the $0.14 dog park, now balances on the very nose of Fate: the weekly 200 SMA, the weekly 200 EMA, and—one for the numerically inclined—the macro 0.382 Fib. “Make-or-break,” says Kevin. Call me old-fashioned, but isn’t this always the case with Dogecoin?

Elsewhere across this grand digital masquerade, lesser coins (one hesitates to call them ‘altcoins’, as if they’re a class of mushrooms) are basking in their own reflected glory. Notably, Ethereum has rather smugly ascended above $2,400, which coincidentally is enough to pay for a year’s supply of witty Twitter bots. Bravo, Ether!