Bitcoin Baron’s Next Big Buy

In an interview with the FT, Simon Gerovich, the CEO of Metaplanet, revealed the company’s plans to accumulate as much Bitcoin as possible, a strategy that can only be described as “buy, buy, buy, and then buy some more 🤯”. The goal, it seems, is to use this wealth to acquire “cash-generating businesses”, a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for “printing money 💸”.

CEO Brad Garlinghouse’s Magical Crypto Spell at the Senate Hearing!

In a recent tweet, Garlinghouse announced that he feels as honored as a knight being knighted by the king to speak directly to the lawmakers about why the U.S. needs proper rules for digital assets. He also took a moment to thank the noble senators Tim Scott, Cynthia Lummis, and Ruben Gallego for leading the charge and supporting crypto-friendly rules. 🛡️📜

Blockchain Group’s Bitcoin Bonanza: 1,904 BTC and a 1,348.8% YTD Yield 🤑

This delightful announcement follows the final completion of a capital increase, as part of the “ATM-type” capital increase program with TOBAM, which raised about €1 million and facilitated the acquisition of 11 BTC. One might say, it’s like finding a small fortune in the back of a sofa. Additionally, the company completed a convertible bond issuance through its Luxembourg subsidiary, raising €10 million to acquire 105 BTC. The Blockchain Group reported a year-to-date BTC Yield of approximately 1,348.8%, with a BTC Gain of about 539.5 BTC and a BTC € Gain of roughly €49.7 million. The average acquisition price for the total BTC holdings is approximately €90,332 per bitcoin. Quite the bargain, wouldn’t you say? 🤑

Crypto Miners, Beware! 🚨

The Russian Ministry of Energy, Federal Tax Service (FTS), and Ministry of Digital Development have joined forces to create this register, because, as we all know, unity is strength 💪. Deputy Energy Minister Petr Konyushenko confirmed that this register has already been dispatched to regions experiencing heightened miner activity, because who needs secrecy, anyway? 🤫

Will Bitcoin Go Bonkers?

Crypto YouTuber Lark Davis is practically bouncing with excitement, predicting a “parabolic move” (whatever that means – sounds like something you’d do on a pogo stick 🤹) that could propel Bitcoin to a whopping $250,000 in the next few months. Steady on, Lark, old chap!