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In the world of Bitcoin spot ETFs, the inflow parade marched valiantly along, boasting a grand total of $292.27 million. Leading the charge, as any respectable hero should, was BlackRock IBIT, waving its flag high with a whopping $209.18 million contribution. Following closely behind like an overzealous sidekick was Fidelity FBTC, drumming up $45.76 million, while Ark & 21Shares ARKB managed to scrounge up $40.68 million. Not to be left out, VanEck HODL showed up fashionably late with a modest yet commendable addition of $7.42 million.

President Trump’s appointee, Stephen Miran, recently unearthed this long-forgotten decree, sparking a frenzy of speculation. One might say the Fed’s founding documents were as revealing as a well-stocked library of secrets. 📚✨

Yet, lo! Two potential catalysts, like mischievous sprites, hover on the horizon, promising to lift the spirits of the downtrodden investors! 🧙‍♂️

The illustrious crypto exchange, Binance, has thusly issued a proclamation to the refined Web3 projects and their respective teams, warning of the opportunistic scammers that incessantly promise victims a coveted spot on the exchange’s comprehensive list-should a not-inconsiderable fee be forthcoming.

Leading South Korean platforms Upbit and Bithumb revealed four crypto token listings, driving price volatility. Meanwhile, OKX and Bybit will also add trading support for two altcoins. Because nothing says “we care” like a 40% price surge followed by a 23.5% crash. 📉💥

In the shadow of the banking oligarchs, Santander-that Spanish leviathan of finance-has decreed through its digital vassal, Openbank, that the proletariat of Germany (and soon Spain) may now dabble in the arcane arts of cryptocurrency. Bitcoin, Ether, Litecoin, Polygon, and Cardano-names that once whispered only in the dark alleys of the internet-now sit alongside the staid investments of the bourgeoisie. 🪙

Hougan’s memo swings the pendulum from that slowpoke, case-by-case approval shuffle to a slick 75-day greenlight route-so long as your crypto’s got futures trading on some U.S. regulated rodeos like CME, Cboe, or the Coinbase Derivatives Exchange.

Those clever chaps at Bitfinex, in their Alpha report, whisper sweet nothings about market conditions aligning for a grand encore once September’s gloomy seasonality takes its final bow. 🎭 The crypto market cap, my loves, has swollen by a delectable 4.8%, adding a cool $180 billion to its already lavish coffers. Trillion-dollar club, here we come! 🥂

The last 24 hours? Well, let’s just say they were a *bit* underwhelming in the crypto world. Most of the heavy hitters stayed as still as statues, barely twitching in price.

Monday saw the Nasdaq, S&P 500, and even gold hit all-time highs, but bitcoin has climbed up more cautiously as the crypto market braces for what may be the first interest rate cut in 2025 after the Fed emerges from its two-day meeting, which starts today and ends with Fed Chair Jerome Powell’s press conference tomorrow. It’s like watching a toddler learn to walk while everyone’s holding their breath-except the toddler is wearing a suit and has a PhD in economics.