Worldcoin’s Wild Ride: Treasury Push Sends Prices Soaring, But ATH Still a Moon Away 🚀💸

On the fateful Monday, 08 September, the announcement came, as grand as a proclamation from the Master and Margarita’s ball. The world’s first Worldcoin treasury strategy was born, with the purchase of 171,232,877 shares at $1.46 per share. And who should grace this occasion but Dan Ives, the Global Head of Technology Research at Wedbush Securities, now crowned Chairman of the Board of Directors. Speaking to CNBC, Ives declared with the fervor of a man who has seen the future:

Crypto Titans Clash: Who Will Crown USDH King? 🤑

On a Monday that shall henceforth be remembered as “The Day of the Bold Proposal,” Sky’s co-founder, Rune Christensen, unveiled his project’s bid with the flourish of a courtier presenting a jewel to the tsar. “Behold,” he proclaimed, “with Sky’s might, USDH shall rise, a stablecoin of unparalleled yield, rivaling even the vaunted US treasury bills!” 🏰💰

Is MegaETH’s Yield-Bearing Stablecoin the Savior Ethereum Didn’t Know It Needed? 🤔💸

Ethereum Fees Chart

The stablecoin, whimsically baptized USDm-because why not sprinkle a little mystique?-is co-conceived with Ethena, a formidable algorithmic stablecoin behemoth boasting a $13 billion treasure trove in total value locked (TVL). This alliance will breathe life into USDm atop Ethena’s USDtb infrastructure, which, in turn, plays the financial puppeteer managing reserves funneled into BlackRock’s BUIDL-a tokenized US Treasury bill fund, lounging comfortably with a $2.2 billion market cap and a yield as steady as your grandma’s knitting.

BREAKING: Hackers Steal Enough Crypto for a Latte in Record npm Attack!

According to these crypto sleuths at Security Alliance (I’m picturing trench coats, not suit jackets), hackers snuck into the node package manager account of a bigshot developer. Malware snuck its way into libraries downloaded more than a billion times. A billion! That’s not chump change… except, actually, it is. Literally: $50. With risk that big, shouldn’t you at least pay off a car loan, or buy some Knicks tickets? Not a chance.

Bybit’s Fee-Cutting Frenzy: Free Trades, No Catch? Prepare to LOL 😂

Coincidentally, this stroke of magnanimous timing arrives just after the S&P 500 flicks its tail and somersaults to a new zenith, rekindling ferocious appetite for market shenanigans. And as usual, the retail hoi polloi, ever the bargain hunters, surge forth seeking ever-cheaper tickets to the trading carnival, while centralized giants scramble to slather on digital grease for their cogs and gears.