qfx 
Cardano is once again pressing against a long-term descending trendline, and the price action is showing signs that a breakout could finally be in play. The bulls are holding strong, and Jesse Peralta believes that once ADA breaks, it could start looking parabolic. Momentum indicators suggest that buyers are gradually tightening their grip. It’s like they’re all whispering, “Just a little more…” 🙏
Backed by a $200M “commitment” from regional partners (read: investors who’ve never held a Bitcoin without a lawyer nearby), the fund aims to gobble up $1B worth of BTC in six months. A veritable feast for the blockchain elite, though one wonders if the feast is for the cows or the farmers.
BitBull, this crypto oracle with the personality of a wet sock, says we need to reclaim $114k. On the daily timeframe! Because nothing says “confidence” like taking forever to cross a line that’s basically a landmine. And if we fail? Oh, it’s not just a bad day-it’s a full-blown disaster. Like when you accidentally send your life savings to a scammer who replies with “LOL, nice try.” 😅
A plethora of reports, some undoubtedly more imaginative than factual, suggest M reached the lofty summit of $1.69 on a fateful Friday before graciously retreating to the less perilous $1.60, while the volume of trade in the 24-hour span bloomed past $53 million. At this present moment-do not forget we live in a fleeting present-M had ascended by a staggering 250% in just one seething week, if one were to subscribe to data from Coingecko.
Shiba Inu’s [SHIB] price has been treading water above the critical demand zone at $0.000012 since mid-August, a period marked by the quiet but steady accumulation by the whales. Oh, the irony! While the little fish scurry about, the big ones quietly feast on the bounty. 🐟🐳
On September 5th, S&P Dow Jones Indices had a bit of a shuffling spree, announcing that Applovin (Nasdaq: APP), Robinhood Markets (Nasdaq: HOOD), and Emcor Group (NYSE: EME) were getting golden tickets to the S&P 500 party, effective September 22nd. This involved booting out Marketaxess Holdings, Caesars Entertainment… and, ouch, Enphase Energy. The official word? To keep things aligned with the huge, lumbering beast that is the US large-cap equity market. You know, making sure everything’s *just so*.
Finance Ministry official Alexey Yakovlev, the self-proclaimed savior of the masses, posits that the government must reduce income and asset thresholds, which currently function as a fortress, accessible only to the wealthiest. RBC and Interfax, ever the diligent scribes, report this noble endeavor. 🧠
The newly merged entity, to be known as StablecoinX Inc., is set to hold a jaw-dropping 3 billion ENA tokens, the native token of the Ethena protocol. Imagine that! It’s like having a treasure chest full of digital gold, but instead of pirates, we have blockchain enthusiasts and tech wizards. 🏴☠️💻
Turns out, it’s because of this pathetic August jobs report where they only managed to add 22,000 jobs. What a joke! They were expecting 75,000. What, did everyone decide to take a vacation? 🌞
Yes, the Shiba powers-that-be officially announced on X (the latest social media reincarnation meant to keep humans entertained) that SHIB can now be lent or borrowed on Folks Finance. Token holders, rejoice-or at least pretend to-as you can stash your coins to earn yields or use them as collateral across a variety of blockchain universes without needing a TARDIS.
