Bitcoin’s Big Bottom? Cowardly Crypto Comes to Its Senses 💃🏻💸

According to our friends at Bitfinex, September has a certain penchant for hosting the cyclical lows in years when the halving saga repeats itself. Lo and behold, after these dreary interludes, we’re usually presented with a rousing chorus into the grand finale quarter-October and November. The show must go on, darling, and it appears the main act is merely taking a little breather behind the curtains.

Maple Finance’s syrupUSDC: A Game-Changer on Arbitrum or Just More Liquid Hype?

As of September 3, 2025, users can dive straight into the syrupy goodness by buying syrupUSDC directly on Arbitrum One. Swap it on any of the usual suspects, or if you’re feeling fancy, use Arbitrum’s Transporter bridge to drag it across the Ethereum mainnet. The plot thickens-because it doesn’t stop there. syrupUSDC is already connecting with Euler, Morpho, and Fluid money markets, where you can use it as collateral. Yep, you can borrow stablecoins with it. Because why wouldn’t you want more stablecoins on top of your stablecoins? 🤑

How a Nasdaq Company Is Betting Big on Telegram Tokens and a Mooch-Approved Future 🚀💰

On a Wednesday that probably felt like any other, the company announced it’s raising roughly $38.2 million through a private stock offering-because what could possibly go wrong with selling shares at a hefty $5.73 each?-and grabbed an additional $35 million loan from Bitgo Prime, a firm that sounds like it should be a top-secret spy agency but is actually just a crypto giant. The whole shebang is meant to finance their grand plan to buy up toncoins (TONs, not to be confused with Tootsie Rolls) and launch what they charmingly call a digital asset treasury (DAT). Sounds fancy, right?

John Deaton, the XRP Army, and a Judge’s Curious Obsession with 2,000 Exhibits 😲

Deaton, ever the provocateur, fired back at skeptics who dismiss the XRP Army as mere keyboard warriors. “Oh, how quaint,” he seemed to say, as he argued that their relentless noise-excuse me, advocacy-actually swayed Judge Analisa Torres. Yes, the same judge who waded through over 2,000 exhibits, including amicus briefs, affidavits, and oral arguments, all presumably while sipping her morning coffee. According to Deaton, she didn’t just glance at these documents; she referenced them. Ergo, victory belongs not just to Ripple but to every XRP holder who dared to dream-and tweet-big.