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Speaking of which, Bitcoin’s been strutting around like a peacock in a parlor, hitting $111,000 and giving the August peak a wink. Investors? They’re grinning like a kid with a new toy. Why? Because regulators, bless their meddling hearts, have finally decided to play nice. Stability? Check. Growth? Double check. It’s like watching a clumsy toddler learn to walk-messy, but promising!

Alas, since then, $XRP hath followed the path of $BTC, descending into a deep consolidation, unlike the persistent ascents of $ETH and $SOL. 📉

The agenda? A labyrinthine discussion on Robinhood’s crypto escapades and the growing frenzy over tokenizing traditional securities. Imagine turning stocks into digital trinkets-a modern-day alchemy, if you will. But beware! The SEC’s ancient scrolls (Rules 15c2-11, 15c3-1, and 15c3-3) loom large, relics of a bygone era now clashing with the digital frontier. 📜✨

WLFI burst onto the scene at $0.30, only to plummet faster than my motivation on a Monday morning. It hit $0.21 before staging what I can only describe as a “mildly convincing comeback” to $0.2525. Experts (who, let’s be honest, could probably use a hobby) calculated this as a 23.5% drop from its peak at $0.3313. But hey, quick rebounds are kind of WLFI’s thing-it’s like watching someone trip over their shoelaces and then immediately start moonwalking. 🕺📉

Binance Coin, or BNB for those who like to keep things simple, has finally moved beyond a stubborn range that lasted for ages. Perhaps it’s a sign it’s not just a pretty face but a serious contender now.

In a recent missive on X, the esteemed CryptoQuant analyst Maartunn has noted a peculiar trend in the Exchange Reserve of Bitcoin. This enigmatic indicator, which tracks the total amount of cryptocurrency languishing in the wallets of centralized exchanges, has seen a most alarming spike. One might imagine it as a horde of investors, all clamoring to deposit their coins, much like a group of overly eager guests at a dinner party.

As of the second of September, annum Domini 2025, the estimable defillama.com reports a fiat-pegged, U.S. dollar-driven crypto economy valuing at $284,558 million-an increase of no small degree from $267,091 million on the first of August. This represents a most noteworthy growth of $17,467 million. Notably, Master Tether, accorded the title USDT, having accreted a market cap near $167.97 billion, boasts control of 59.03% of said market’s worth. Witness, if you will, the grandeur of such numerals!

After a tumble that left it bruised and battered, Cardano found solace near $0.780, much like a prospector striking gold in a dry creek. It surged past $0.80 and $0.8250, its spirit unbroken. A triangle, as fleeting as a desert mirage, was left behind at $0.8250, and the price flirted with $0.840, reaching a peak of $0.8395 before pausing to catch its breath. It now rests above the 23.6% Fib retracement level, a thin thread of hope in the vast tapestry of the market.

Hyperliquid [HYPE] danced above the open price of $43 to flirt with $45, a day’s work for a crypto that’s seen better days. Market cap clung to $15 billion like a toddler to a teddy, with daily drawdowns less than 1%-because even chaos needs a nap.

Ethereum [ETH] kicked off September on shaky footing. 🧱