qfx 
Unlike your uncle’s old car, which still runs on ‘hope and dreams,’ these losses are less about buggy code and more about people leaving the keys in the ignition! It turns out weak access controls are responsible for nearly 60% of our ‘oopsies’ this time around. Smart contract bugs still managed to steal a whopping $263 million, though—we all thought that was just the price for bad ideas! 💸
While the UK contemplates selling its seized Bitcoin, doing so could lead to billions in lost opportunities. Mark Pearce, General Counsel at Alkimi, emphasized that the situation presents a complex dilemma rather than a clear-cut solution for the UK. After all, why make a straightforward decision when you can have a tangled web of legal and financial quandaries?
Grab a coffee, or a therapist, as Ethereum is no longer just for crypto-native players. Wait, what even is a “crypto-native player”? Is that a thing? I don’t know, but apparently, public companies are getting in on the action. Who knew?
The drop occurred amid broader market trends, but whale investors are busily hoarding SHIB at these lower prices, hoping to resurrect the coin from its current slump with the grace of a phoenix. 🐋✨
The move extends the reach of Franklin Templeton’s platform while providing businesses operating on VeChain another stablecoin option, according to a statement shared with CryptoMoon. Or, as I like to call it, “the financial equivalent of a toddler’s tantrum but with more spreadsheets.” 🧠💣
Altcoins are throwing a tantrum, selling off like a Black Friday crowd at a Nordstrom Rack. Some experts are sweating bullets, whispering, “This rally’s about to crash harder than my Aunt Linda’s attempt at gluten-free bread.” Others insist it’s just a “healthy consolidation,” which sounds suspiciously like what your dentist says before they tell you you’ve got six cavities.
So, what’s the deal? Ethereum took a little tumble from its stratospheric heights above $3,600, and suddenly everyone’s losing their minds on social media. In the last 24 hours, nearly $197 million worth of ETH positions got liquidated, mostly from those optimistic long players. Drama city, population: everyone. 🌟
Aave (AAVE) is trading around $284 after a week that can only be described as “soul-crushing.” The token has lost more than 13% in that time, which is just a smidge more than my enthusiasm on a Monday morning. It’s also down nearly 6% in the past 24 hours. Over $790 million in volume? Wow, someone’s trading like they’re in the last round of Monopoly with their friends!
Word has it, this treasure hunt will be run by their Hong Kong sidekick, GPT Pals Studio, kicking off with a modest $10 million handout from some investment bigwig called Integrated Asset Management. Ah, the dreams of easy money, flowing like sake in a corporate party—until the hangover hits. 😏
