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Oh, the Americans and their spot Bitcoin ETFs! On their best days, they flutter about with $5-10 billion in trades, occasionally outshining even the most established crypto exchanges. How utterly *institutional* of them! 💼

The pull request, grandiosely titled “CIP-???? | Ouroboros Leios – Greater Transaction Throughput,” sits in the digital purgatory of PR #1078, labeled “Category: Consensus” and stamped with the ominous “State: Triage.” It is a document in limbo, awaiting its permanent number like a soul awaiting judgment. The submission, a tapestry of commits and links, points to a dedicated Leios R&D site and discussion forum-a modern-day agora for the technologically anointed. Intersect, the implementor, stands as a silent guardian, ensuring the sacred trinity of research, engineering, and standards remains intact. A CIP editor, with the air of a weary scribe, noted the document “looks practically ready for merge,” though the usual bureaucratic rituals must still be observed. 📜🔍

As crypto.news reports with all the solemnity of a priest conducting mass, POL was last seen hovering around $0.24 on Friday, Aug. 29, Asian time. With a market cap north of $2.59 billion, it’s up 26% from its August low and 50% from its yearly nadir. Yet, much like a forgotten loaf of bread, it remains 54% below its January peak and a whopping 80% under its all-time high. Poor thing. 😢

Bitcoin must close above $114,000 this week to avoid what some traders call an “ugly” correction. Ugly? Really? What’s next, a “hideous” bear market? 😒

The bank’s cross-asset sages (yes, they have sages now) note that Bitcoin’s volatility has plummeted to historic lows-down from a frenetic 60% earlier this year to a mere 30%. And so, according to their alchemical calculations, Bitcoin ought to rise by roughly 13%, or about $126,000 per coin, to align itself with the private investment pool of gold. In other words, BTC is allegedly undervalued by some $16,000. One wonders if Bitcoin feels insulted or flattered by such attention.

He argues XRP’s control remains akin to a puppet show-only the puppeteers are hidden behind the curtain. Founding tales have gone up in smoke like a bad magic trick, and the network is undermined by partial payment exploits that could even make a bank robber yawn. The infrastructure? Think of it as a Rube Goldberg device made of blockchain – charming but fundamentally unreliable. No wonder skeptics are waving banners of infamy at what some see as a scam wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled with a dash of ‘they might be sneaky.’

August 27th, they all got together-like a really boring high school reunion, but with more lawyers. The Blockchain Association, Multicoin Capital Management, Blockchain Capital, and Sullivan & Cromwell LLP were all there. The Blockchain Association had previously said, “Hey, guys, these old rules don’t work for us.” It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, but with more blockchain jargon.

The paperwork dropped Wednesday, revealing that Bitcoin Infrastructure will be trading on Nasdaq under the catchy ticker BIXIU – which sounds less like a stock and more like the noise you make sneezing in a cryptocurrency conference. This Cayman Islands-based money machine plans to offer 20 million units priced at $10 each. Each unit hands you one share and half a warrant. Because who doesn’t love fractions? You can wield that half-warrant when the price hits $11.50, assuming you’re cool waiting around.

It all started when those clever clogs at the US Department of Commerce decided to share their top-secret economic data – GDP, PCE, all that jazz – through Chainlink

LINK
$23.91

24h volatility:
1.2%

Market cap:
$16.21 B

Vol. 24h:
$2.78 B

and, wouldn’t you know it, Pyth Network too! They’ll be flinging this data all over nine blockchains – Bitcoin, Ethereum, even that TRON one! 😮

This little escapade signals that blockchain isn’t just for tinkering techies and internet weirdos anymore; it’s practically moving into the neighborhood with a giant banner saying, “Welcome to the future!” Let’s not forget that with this blockchain bonanza, the crypto crowd is also seeing a surge in demand for Layer 2 solutions. Because who wouldn’t want to travel on a blockchain expressway? 🚗💨