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The five kings (and queens?) of this digital circus are led by the immortal dogecoin (DOGE), now worth a staggering $33.26 billion-because why save for retirement when you can invest in a joke with a Shiba Inu? Right behind it is shiba inu (SHIB) at $7.35 billion, proving that one dog breed can fuel two fortunes. 🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺

Of course, in true Wall Street fashion, reality hit the party like an uninvited mother-in-law. The shares eased back down to $2.65 (only up 56% now, yawn). The board had approved this digital treasure hunt, hoping to dazzle investors with their bold, new crypto trick.

Jeremie, ever the meticulous chess player, maps out a future where XRP might just sail to a shiny new plateau-roughly $4.93, to be precise. Using the mystical Fibonacci levels, he observes a lovely W-shaped pattern-because what’s more bullish than a W? No one knows. His charts suggest that the recent climb isn’t just some manipulated circus but a genuine, investor-driven fiesta. If he’s right, XRP could shatter its previous summer flirtation with $3.65 and perhaps even outgrow its past self. How poetic-like a phoenix, but hopefully with less smoke.

So, apparently, a lot of people are making money in crypto. Who knew? Analysts are now warning that this could lead to a mass exodus of profit-taking. Because, you know, why not ruin a good thing?

So, Blast, once thought to be Ethereum’s (ETH) second-in-command when it came to Layer-2 solutions, has taken quite the nosedive. We’re talking major “what happened?” vibes in the crypto world. The token’s currently sitting at $0.002570, which is up by 0.62% over the last 24 hours, but honestly, who’s even noticing at this point? Users are packing up and heading for greener pastures.

And just like that, PYTH’s value surged past the $0.20 mark-peaking at over 70% in one day. By the time the dust settled, it was still hovering just below $0.19, sporting a proud 62% increase. I mean, can you even? 😎

On August 28, the U.S. Department of Commerce came out with an announcement that should make any crypto fan-or economist-sit up and say, “Wait, what?” They’ve cryptographically signed and published the official Q2 2025 GDP figure, showing a nifty 3.3% annualized growth, and scattered it across Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana, and some Layer-2 scaling solutions. It’s like the GDP data is on a world tour, but instead of stadiums, it’s on blockchains. 🏟️💻

Six pivotal metrics from the Bureau of Economic Analysis are now waltzing onto the onchain stage via Chainlink Data Feeds. These include the illustrious Real GDP, the PCE Price Index, and the infamous Real Final Sales to Private Domestic Purchasers, no less! These priceless datasets arrive securely across ten major blockchain networks, such as Ethereum, Arbitrum, Base, and Avalanche, updated more frequently than your aunt’s Facebook status-monthly or quarterly.

In a thrilling Thursday announcement, Caliber’s board decided that it would be absolutely splendid to allocate a chunk of its funds into acquiring LINK tokens. Ah, digital assets, the new flavour of the month. And in a move that screams “we’re serious,” the board has also appointed a crypto advisory team to, presumably, guide them through the whole confusing mess of digital policy and asset strategies. One imagines the advisory board is quietly thinking, “If we can’t help them make money, at least we can make them look interesting.” 🤔

In today’s delightful edition, our very own Samantha Bohbot, partner and chief growth officer from RockawayX, takes us on a merry jaunt through the land of decentralized finance, where Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana frolic and play. 🐰💸