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At the Manila Tech Summit (because every politician needs a tech summit these days), Bam Aquino-who, by the way, sounds like a character from a bad sitcom-pitched this idea like it was the next sliced bread.

As of now, shares betting on Johnson’s victory are trading at a modest 7 cents. This implies there’s a 7% chance-yes, just 7%-of the man who once suplexed opponents for a living securing the Democratic nomination. Not bad for a guy who’s mainly known for his eyebrow raises and jaw-dropping movie roles, right? Still, he’s in fourth place, trailing behind Gavin Newsom, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Pete Buttigieg.

Let’s face it, when Edward Snowden gives a thumbs up to a VPN service, you don’t ask questions. You just sign up. The man knows a thing or two about keeping secrets. But if you’re still living in the dark ages of credit card payments, hoping the internet forgets what you bought five years ago-well, good luck with that. The Nym-Dash partnership lets you make those payments in a way that doesn’t involve your favorite credit card company knowing more about you than your therapist.

Pseudonymous crypto analyst Setupsfx, a name as mysterious as a shadow in a London alley, has declared on TradingView that Dogecoin has landed at a “critical support level” above $0.20. This, dear reader, is the last redoubt in the eternal struggle between bulls and bears-a battle where the former have the upper hand, much to the latter’s dismay. 🐻

As of this very moment (or just yesterday’s moment, because time is quite the fickle creature), Ethereum [ETH] is looking as though it has its sights set on a grand departure past the $5,000 threshold. Think of it as an overexcited dog ready to leap over a very modestly high fence.

On what can only be described as a very Wednesday, these financial wizards announced they see Bitcoin as more than just a way to keep the inflation gremlins at bay; it’s a shining beacon in the murky waters of institutional treasury management. By making Bitcoin the cornerstone of their treasure chest, Falconedge plans to bulk up their crypto holdings, hoping to ride the BTC wave to untold riches and respectability in the digital finance realm. 🚀💰

In a most intriguing turn of events, Mr. Lee, the chairman of Bitmine Immersion Technologies, has proclaimed that the second-largest digital asset, ethereum ( ETH), is poised for a remarkable rise. He attributes this optimistic forecast to the historical trends of the market, which, as we all know, can be as fickle as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 🐱

So what’s Alex been up to? He’s been busy overseeing everything Dogecoin-related-think ecosystem development, partnerships, and making sure Dogecoin stays as cool as it sounds. You know, lending, staking, and turning that Dogecoin into something even more useful. Pretty much everything that screams “let’s make crypto work for us, not the other way around.” 🙌

The mere mention of delisting has sent shivers down the spines of Pi holders-bless their hearts-many of whom were already teetering on the edge of sanity thanks to the endless delays in the much-awaited mainnet launch and the growing mountain of doubts regarding this digital venture’s long-term vision. For a good number, the grand dream of this “Pioneer” community-powered currency seems to be fading faster than last summer’s tan. 😩

Should fate (and bureaucracy) be kind, this fund would tread the venerable halls of the Cboe BZX Exchange. BNB itself, like a wary prince, would rest in the care of the cryptic custodians, leaving the toil of staking to mercenary third-party validators. A sizeable chunk-one may say a Tolstoyan portion-of the ETF’s holdings would be dispatched onto the BNB Chain, there to labor dutifully for investor rewards, while those with less patience (and perhaps more cash) would see their share creations and redemptions handled-how modern!-in currency, not coin. And because liquidity is the poetry of markets (though rarely as lyrical as one hopes), liquid staking protocols may be called upon to yield returns and liquidity. Like Dostoevsky calling for vodka-one never knows if enough will ever be enough.